19 October 2010

The love for my son.

Day 02 - Something you love about yourself.


I love how much I love my son. I know that sounds like "Duh, of course you love your kid...!"  This will sound silly to a lot of people, but when I was growing up, one of my biggest fears was that I would have a son.

I was afraid that if I had a boy, I wouldn't know what to do with him! Seriously, I REALLY didn't want to have boys.

I was raised with ultimately NO males in my life. My father left when I was little, no brothers, no boy cousins I'd ever met, grandfathers that lived in other states and the one that I did see passed away when I was fairly young & the other I had never met. I had an uncle that lived near by but his job required him to be gone for months at a time and I really didn't see him much.
....
Skip ahead....
....
{ my pregnancy test - May 2009. this is not a NEW test :-) }


The second I got the "Pregnant" reading on that test my very first thought was "It's a boy, I know it!" And I felt completely calm and at ease. It was the first time in my life I wasn't scared about it. In fact, I WANTED my baby boy so bad. I don't know how or why I was so certain that I was pregnant with a boy, but I knew 100%. I couldn't have been more excited about it.

I've had little faith in men throughout my life {this has been a constant struggle for me}.
And I think God had a bigger plan, I really feel that I'm supposed to learn something through my son by raising him to be one of the good guys. The kind of man that a girl would want to marry. We need more good guys out there, don't you think? And I believe it's our job (mine & my husband) to bring him up to be honest, caring, faithful & devoted so that he can make someone just as happy as his Daddy makes me.

Now that Bennett is here, I couldn't imagine myself without him. He completes me and makes me better. His presence in my life is what keeps me grounded and gives me a sense of purpose.

Anyway, this was kind of a round about way of saying that I love how much my perspective has changed.

I love how much I love my son has taught me so much already about unconditional love. I thank him for that! 

{ My first 30 Days of Truth post, with the Truth List }




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15 comments:

Nikki said...

Awww. Rest assured you are raising one of the good ones. I could tell the moment I met him.

Will you come predict what I'm going to have? I mean you can tell years before conception right? ;)

Jen said...

It's obvious that we have the same love. Right when I published my post, I went to my dashboard & saw this beauty of a post.

Kids do amazing things to your heart, don't they?

Karli said...

This is so sweet. I have no doubt your little sweetie will be one of the good ones. You know I have a tiny tornado just a bit older - LOL! She'll be looking for one of the good ones! :-) And I about jumped out of my chair; I thought your little "test" was current news! I was like wha???? OK, you got me! :-)

Jhen.Stark said...

Um, I about FLIPPED my ponytail when I saw the picture... then I kept reading. HAHAHA!

I love your truth today! I love how open you allowed yourself to be and I LOVE YOUR new perspective. We need more good boys! Coming from a mom trying to raise a Good girl, I'm praying for Good Boys in this world!!! And they need good mama's to get them there! So Bennett has it in the bag!

Angie McCulloch said...

oh my gosh, i totally freaked out when i saw that picture!!!! haha! it was definitely a moment us moms will never forget!

Naomi said...

aww so sweet :) I grew up with only sisters so I won't lie and say I was ecstatic when I found out I was having a boy....I really, really wanted a girl. But once he was here--I loved him. I wouldn't trade my little boy for anything!

Courtney K. said...

I can completely identify with this. I never wanted a son, either. I just had no idea how to raise a boy. My daddy was a good man, a good father and decent husband, but I never had faith in men either. I love your thoughts on raising Bennett to be one of the good ones, because I feel the same way about Noah. I want him to one of the guys the girls want to be with for the RIGHT reasons. I want whoever he marries one day to feel like the most loved and luckiest girl in the world. And I want to know that it was my husband and I, with God's help, that trained him up to be that way.

Chelsey - The Paper Mama said...

That was a sweet post. I don't know how you couldn't love that little boy!

Zwickl Family said...

I think you grew up with a pretty good ground without having a father figure in your life. I just loved this post, and I wish all mother's feel the love between a mother and son.

I hope we can all raise fine, young, loving sons and keep them grounded as much as possible.

Alexis said...

I could not agree with you more. I used to think I'd be happy without ever having a boy... now I can't imagine what I was thinking! I still have a hard time fathoming this experience called motherhood :) It's amazing!

Faith said...

I SO love this post. I didn't think I liked this list when I read about it on Chelsey's blog but I LOVE the way that you've written up this post. Beautiful!

kriznizzel said...

That was a beautiful post and you look gorgeous in the last photo.

AmyLee said...

oh my goodness mandy, this post gave me goosebumps & made tears well up in my eyes. i hear you on so many levels. when i was pregnant, i knew there was something special about a mama & her baby boy, but i had no idea it would be this amazing. i am so proud of my little man already, & totally can't wait to raise him as "one of the good ones."

Alissa said...

I completely understand this blog sis. I have had the same feelings regarding males and have completely opened up to the idea of "the good ones" when i got married. Besides not having a good male role model, many of the guys in my life let me down and I either lost them or had to cut them out. So I can see your point of view and am glad raising Bennett is sort of thereputic for you. Hopefully I will get that chance someday.

Sylvia Cook Photography said...

A beautifully sweet post Mandy:)
I'm so glad to see you feeling that overwhelming unconditional love..there's nothing like it right?
Wish you would have had good male role models in your life though, that's a regret of mine too.
But I know Bennett will grow into a perfect example!