20 December 2010

separation anxiety

Except I'm talking about me, not Bennett.

Bennett is almost 11 months old, and I realized the other day that I have never been away from him for more than like 4-5 hours at a time. That's kinda surreal actually! I am so thankful to be home with him, to be with him all of the time, but it's caused me to have some major anxiety when I AM away from him.


For example: 
The other day, my Husband took him over to his sister's house, and in the meantime I went and finished up some Christmas shopping.

So when Bennett woke up from his nap, I went in and got him, knowing that he was going to be leaving with Daddy in a couple of minutes. I hugged him tightly for like 5 minutes telling him over and over "Mommy loves you, and I'll miss you while you're gone!".... (repeat like 100 times).
And when Philip went to get him from me, he had to pretty much tear him out of my arms.  I literally wanted to cry. I did NOT want to let go of him. Ridiculous, right???

I mean, part of me was happy that I was going to get to go shopping alone, it's always much quicker and more productive, but the other part {the bigger part of me} didn't want to leave me baby, not even for a few hours.

Philip and I are planning to try to take a vacation to Hawaii (YAY!) in March. Just the two of us. Only thing is we'll be gone for a week. A WEEK!??? How would I possibly leave Bennett for a week if I have a hard time leaving him for a couple of hours without missing him like crazy?

So, my question is.... how do I do get over this??

{in my defense, who wouldn't miss this face???}   :)




22 comments:

samarah said...

he's SO adorable!! totally going to snag the new button :)

Love in Christ,
Samarah

Nikki said...

Well you could start by letting me take him to Starbuck's and show him off. He's a cutie, I don't blame you. But I say it is way better than never wanting to spend time with him! Nothing wrong with loving your child too much.

Kiara Buechler said...

I totally understand. I still ache when I am away from Dane at work, and I have been back to work for eight months! Hawaii will be amazing though, and you come come back with renewed energy that Bennett will love.

Shannon said...

I don't have any good advise for you, because I am exactly the same way. When I get a break from being mommy and I'm away from my girls, I find myself trying to hurry to get home! They just become your whole world and I think you get so used to caring for them every second. On the other hand, I am jealous your going to Hawaii. It'll be hard no doubt, but what great fun and rest you will get! :)

Mandy said...

I can only imagine how hard it is to leave your little one! I am sure I am going to be so attached when Lily arrives, too!

Jeska said...

I can't imagine leaving him, but you will get through it! And the reunion will be sweet ;)

Jess Craig said...

i have the same problem mandy. when i was finally reunited with josh, we got a hotel for the night. wyatt was fast asleep and i knew he wasn't even missing me, but i had in my mind that he needed me or something. i totally cried the next morning when we woke up. it made me sad that i was away from him all night. it'll be okay though. we have to go through it i guess.

Brooke said...

he is so cute!! Ugh when my daughter was 2 months old, I had to go back to work and school and it was the hardest thing ever because I felt I was never with her and when I did have time with her I was sad that I wasn't with her more. It does get better the more you spend away from your baby. You'll always have the same feeling of not wanting to be away from them and you're constantly thinking about them, but it will get better and the best thing to do is to focus on why you're away from him/her in the first place and the time might go faster!

samarah said...

Thanks for your comment on my blog :)

Kristy said...

I wish I could be of some help! My girl is turning 1 on the 29th, and we have the same problems. I've never been away from her for more than a few hours.

Just try to relax and have fun on your vacation. You'll feel so refreshed when you get back and your little guy will be okay!

Sarah Halstead said...

He is so adorable! Love the new button. I saw you were featured on Top Baby Blogs with the new button. Adorable!

I have no idea how to help you. I can not stand to be away from my boys but for a couple hours at the time. It is so hard!

Chelsey - The Paper Mama said...

Oh, I went through that at first... but, it really is so much easier to get things done when someone else is watching them. I just got used to her being gone for the whole day. I think it's good for her too. To be with someone else besides me 24/7.

ADSchill said...

Don't know what that's like, but I would suggest leaving him more often when the oportunity arrises and maybe for longer periods so you can ease yourself into getting used to the idea/feeling.
Maybe have him stay overnight with mom or hang out with Philip for a whole day, while you have some Mandy time?
Keep yourself busy when you are without him and keep reminding yourself that you will see him again soon!

Alexis said...

Love the new button :) Ugh. I have NO idea how to go about preparing to leave for that long! We will be doing that in June! The only reason I manage to leave Dawson for 12 hours while I work is because he is sleeping haha. Good luck! I'm jealous :)

Klove said...

paper momma is right...just realize that you need to get stuff done and he's in good hands. You'll learn to get over the anxiety and start to love your personal time. XOXO

Karli said...

Oh my! That face! OK, I'm sure with all your blog friends you have someone all lined up for Bennett. However, if those don't work out...perhaps keep Livia in mind? He'll never have a dull moment with her, that's for sure! LOL! :-)

Lea said...

Well, I'm sure the more you leave Bennett the easier it will get each time. My two kids are all grown now and have blessed me with two Grans. I was a stay at home Mom but I never had any trouble leaving them occasionally to enjoy some "me" time. It made me a better Momma and Hubby and I went on many trips by ourselves and while we did miss our children, we had a wonderful time while we were away.

Wishing you a wonderful Christmas!

AmyLee said...

i think it is super important for parker to spend alone time with people other than me to make babysitting in the future easier. it's taken time, but it's definitely gotten easier for me to leave him. and it's always SO MUCH FUN to be reunited :)

Sylvia Cook Photography said...

Hummm, well I could say 'your pain is my gain' since I'll be the one to look at this cute little face while you're gone, but that won't help will it?
Both he and you are lucky that you've been able to stay home with him, but it does make it harder.
Like Liss said, just keep giving yourself more and more time to yourself, and do the practice run with the overnighter too.

Holly - Holly Days said...

I can't offer any advice. I've never been away from Collin for longer than an overnight with Grandma. I am no help. Haha!

I love the new button, though! Adorbz!

Stephanie Thigpen said...

Soooo, just wondering if you're interested in an arranged marriage for Bennett? Maybe you could make it a blog contest. I'm sure he'd forgve you, someday.

Angie McCulloch said...

I totally understand your feelings...I HATE leaving Kaylin when I'm at work, that's really the only time I ever do leave her! Even running errands I always wait for her to nap...it makes me feel like I'm not missing anything. Hawaii will be amazing! You'll get through it and you and philip's relationship will be renewed!