25 January 2011

A Letter From Philip: A Dad's Perspective.


This is a letter from Bennett's Daddy.
I asked Philip to write about Bennett's birth, from his perspective.



My how time flies. It has been a whole year since our son Bennett Roy was born. The events of January 26, 2010 changed my life in so many ways. Priorities changed, paradigms shifted and life sped up tenfold. I participated in the most extreme and important event of my life. Extreme in every way possible; physical, emotional and spiritual. Important, not only because a new life was born into this world, but because their are very few times in this life that any of us get to see pure beauty.

I have talked to many fathers and potential fathers about the birth of their children. A high percentage of them did not, or plan not to, participate in the actual experience. Often by their own choice, but occasionally at the insistence of their spouse that they not be in the room. I think this is sad. Here is why:

For me, it was one of the hardest nights of my life. Seeing my wife go through such pain caused me enough emotional stress that I felt as though I was going though the pain myself. I am in no way comparing my pain to her's, just explaining that it was hard for me. As the long night turned into a long day, both of us became completely worn out and unprepared for how hard the last hour of the birth would be.

I am not going to delve into the bloody details. We have all seen the videos in health class. We know that it isn't exactly pretty, but there is purpose in it all. The best things in life are not free, and the same is true for any pure experience. You will never feel closer to someone than when you both willingly delve into the depths of pain together. You will never feel completely part of the gritty natural world than when you become part of it in such a way. Most importantly, you will never ever feel closer to God than when you witness the birth of your own child.

I mentioned that the opportunities to witness pure beauty are few. I wasn't referring to the actual act of birth, although there is beauty to be found there. I have come to realize that true beauty is found in potential. We love people, not because of their physical appearance, but because of the potential we see in them. This beauty is hard to find because of all the ugliness we sort through in our daily lives. I know now, after January 26, 2010, that our only chance to see pure beauty, pure potential, is to see the first breath of our own children. In that brief, indescribable moment, which has been paid for by the preceding pain, we can feel pure love. I love my wife, and I love my son, Bennett Roy.

-Philip (aka Daddy)



More from the 'Celebrating Bennett's 1st Year' Series:

14 comments:

Nikki said...

Beautiful Philip! Childbirth really is an amazing thing and I can't believe what the human body is capable of. I wish more men could see it that way, but until they meet their own child it's a hard sell ;)

Stephenie Bechen said...

Very nicely said, I know my husband felt the same way you did. He was VERY involved in the birth of both our children and we wouldn't have had it any other way! Seeing me in pain brought him to tears, but WE both remained focused on what amazing event was about to happen. It's like nothing else in this world. Happy Birthday to your boy <3

Joni said...

beautifully said. what an amazing family you all are.

Brooke said...

Um Wow! I'm speechless. this was beautiful!

m&msmommy said...

AWWW! That was beautiful! :)

Zwickl Family said...

Oh, this tugs at my heart strings. There is nothing better in this world then seeing a father and their child.

Philip's wording was amazing. I wish I could get Justin to do something similar, but I don't know what he would come up with. haha. I just LOVE these little posts about B and I can/can't wait to hear your letter tomorrow. I can't wait because I love reading them, I can wait because I'll probably be using a napkin to wipe my tears. :)

Rebecca said...

this is just beautiful. What a treasure you have in such a Godly and vulnerable hubby!

Angel said...

Absolutely beautiful! I REALLY adore your blog :)

Kari said...

I love this post. It's so wonderful to get a daddy's perspective of labor and birth and he did such a good job of sharing...You are a very lucky lady Mandy!

Jen said...

So Sweet! He did a great job of giving his perspective. Like I said.. Your little man is so lucky to have such an amazing Daddy. Good Daddy's make a difference!!

Lauren said...

This was beautiful I am totally crying! Happy birthday TOMORROW!

AmyLee said...

oh wow, this was amazing. i'm with phillip... i can't believe some dads don't want to be in the room at the moment of their child's birth. and even worse, there are moms that don't want them there? it is such an beautiful experience & does bring you closer as a family. i loved this!

Jhen.Stark said...

AH! I loved this!!! I love how you so perfectly put it about experiencing the birth with your wife! And how beautiful the first breath is! Goodness, Bennett has such amazing parents in you two!!!

Andree and Josh said...

This is really a beautiful thing to read. I loved it!