10 March 2011

should i nip it in the bud?

Think about all of the pictures you've seen of Bennett....do you see anything in these photos that is out of the norm?
Let's have a closer look.........

..... ah yes, it's a BINKY!
Bennett has never taken a binky. Ever.

From birth, we tried every kind of binky out there, he was just never interested. I always saw all these other babies being soothed with binky's. And I wanted my fussy baby to take one, too. If for no other reason than to just help sooth himself. Never happened.
When he was around 5-6 months old, I finally gave up trying to tame his fussiness with a pacifier, cause it was obvious he wasn't interested in the stupid things. So... I gathered up all of the neglected binky's and I just threw them in a drawer in his room.

Fast forward to a couple of weeks ago.

He found his stash of pacifier's, and now, he crawls around with one in his mouth all day. Out of no where, he loves the pacifier! If he's whining and crying - they will calm him down instantly. They are kinda working the way they are supposed to.

He's 13 months old and I totally realize that it's a bad habit for him to be JUST NOW getting into. So my question is, should I just nip this in the butt and get rid of them before he becomes dependent on them?? ..... Or should I just let him have them?

HELP!


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46 comments:

Nicole said...

My daughter is going to be two in June and she thinks they are her friends. She collects them, hides them and wants them whens he wants them. I suggest if you let him keep it only let him use it when he specifically needs pacified. My doctor would say keep it until they are ready to drop it themselves, friends say snatch it up cold turkey. Hmm....

Heather said...

Before I rattle off my advice to you, I think it is important to share that I have 6 kids (2 step children, 1 that is all grown up). I say this so you know I am sincere and have at least a little experience.
Let him have the binkies and allow yourself to have the calm!
Our 2.5 year old started out with binkies and dropped them on his own totally against my wishes at 3 months old. I was and am his soother. He is a total mommas boy.
My older girls had binkies and never had problems. Well other than mommy not being able to find a binky in an emergancy. I would be thrilled if my son decided he wanted to use one.
My daughters all gave theirs up with no problems. Macy was 2 or so, the twins had a harder time so at 3 the binky fairy visited our house (gathering all the binkies in one night to give to new babies who needed them and left a wonderful stuffed animal to cuddle and sooth in their place. Which worked incredibly well).
My youngest step daughter who is now 7 never used a binky. Her mother refused to let her have one. So Haley was a finger sucker, her middle and ring finger. Guess what? You can't take fingers away for the binky fairy. She has finally grown out of finger sucking but she did it thru kindergarden.
ok, so point...he found something on his own that helps him feel good. (I bet he is very intelligent.) He obviously knows how to sooth without them, but if he would rather have them then let him. I don't think when the time comes to drop them he will have a difficult time just because he has gone without them before. He may not use them for very long all on his own. I am amazed at how incredible children are all on their own. Let him (and you) have this one. And use your best judgement, you know your son better than anyone else. Trust him.

Stephanie Thigpen said...

Hallie has been quite the ninny child her entire life... I seriously think that she thinks that it loves her back. I'm no pro or anything, but I would say to let him have it. If it helps him and yourself sleep better, then it's a win/win in my eyes. As long as you don't let him go off to college with it... I don't think Hallie will be very happy about their arranged marriage if that happens.

The Alexander's said...

What I would give for my 2 mo old to take one!

Joni said...

we were prepared. we bought paci clips with Elijah's name on them from an etsy shop and everything. we tried forever to get him to suck one and he just wouldn't. i bet we shoved it in his mouth a hundred times a day begging him to take it (he cried a lot at first). come to find out, he is a thumb sucker and i think that is worse because you can't take that away. i say go with what you feel is right because i never really listen to other people's advice anyway. i always go with what i feel works best for me and if it turns out to be a big mistake in the end...well then hopefully i will learn my lesson and not do it again. it is nice to hear what other people think though.

Joy said...

I was gonna give you my opinion but after reading these previous comments I feel like I have no room to comment haha. They know way more than me a out pacifiers. Bailey still uses hers and I just try to not give them to her unless shes going to sleep. It works well for us. Although I wish she could go to sleep without a pacifier sometimes.

Amy said...

I'm not a momma so I can't comment with experience - but I just feel like it's the perfect opportunity to talk about how yesterday (or the day before?) Suri Cruise (Tom and Katie Cruise's FIVE YEAR OLD) was photographed with a soother in her mouth.

Five is too old... Bennett is still really young and if it makes your life easier I wouldn't beat yourself up about it... I like what the one Momma said up there about only letting him have it when he actually needs to be soothed.

Jess Craig said...

wyatt was the same way! never took one. the only way he'd use one is if we actually physically held it in his mouth while he slept, and i mean, okay, NO.

but, honestly, if i were you, i'd just take it away. i don't think he needs one now. it seems like it'll just be a bigger problem for you later.

BUT! obviously you do what's right! no one ever went to the alter with a pacifier in their mouth! it'll all work out. it's just a matter of time with kids.

m&msmommy said...

Here is my two cents :) Bennett is still young enough that sucking a ninny is "normal" so I say, go for it. If it soothes him, then why not? It might be a little late for him to start, compared to other children, but he's just being an individual :) We decided that the Easter after Manuel's 2nd birthday the Easter Bunny was going to take his ninny in trade of an Easter basket filled with goodies, and that's what happened. It was actually much simpler then I imagined. Of course you'll have varying opinions from everyone, but do what YOU think is best! :)

allie said...

oh man! silly bennett! henry never took to the pacifier either, i wonder what he'd do if he found his old ones now. hmmm, i say do whatever you think is best for him (and you!) but i kinda like the comment jess left. it may just cause problems later on for you guys....

Brooke said...

Aw, my daughter never liked them either she always sucks on her two fingers instead. I don't know how I'm going to get her to stop that one haha. I would say to just give it to him at night! I need to start doing this with my daughter's blanket since she has it all day. ha

Stacey said...

I think you have to do whatever is right for you.

My daughter is 5 and still sucks her thumb. Only at night or when she's really tired, but she still does it. We've gotten "the look" from those that don't approve and have been asked multiple times, "Don't you want her to stop that? Isn't it bad for her teeth? She's almost 6!" Our dentist and Pediatrician aren't concerned about it and neither are we. She'll eventually grow out of it, but until then I'm going to let her soothe herself.

I know thumb sucking is different than a paci, but do what you think is best for him and you can't go wrong! :-)

melissa d. said...

we are in the SAME boat! stella all of the sudden is so attached to her bink and i want to take it away but i don't know yet.

The Best of Both Worlds said...

This is a tough one. My 2 never took a paci either. I felt like you and wanted the calm, but then would hear other moms talk about having to take them away and I just figured it was a good thing in the end not having them. I already had to work on taking the bottle, introducing sippys, the converting of the crib. Why add the week of screaming when you have to take the ninny away?

It is all up to you! Bennet might do really well when you get to the point of having to nip it in the butt. Maybe its something he is doing and then might even stop himself like he started.

P..S. he is so super cute!

Photo Freak said...

The "NEED" for a binkky goes away at 6 weeks old. Then they say its habit. GIve him something better to suck on...like a sucker! haha. kidding, kidding. I just never gave one to my kids, so I never had to dealw ith it. no clue what to do.

Shannon said...

Okay so my youngest never took one (well both of my children didn't) but like you my youngest started sucking on one at about 7 or 8 months maybe?! My memory is failing. I didn't really mind that she started to pick it up. Not sure why, it comforted her for the time, but the phase didn't last long and she gave it up all on her own!

Bennett may like it a whole lot more so not sure what to tell ya. All I know is my niece has horrible teeth from sucking on one all of the time. But, that wouldn't happen to Bennett! Good luck with your decision!

And I can I tell you how much I enjoy reading your blog!

Melissa said...

You've got a lot of great advice. My daugther never took one. She's the same age and I prayed every day that she would take one becasue I was the soother and it became hard on me. Eventually we figured it out still with no binky. I threw out all our binkies when she was 6 months and gave up on it. This post is tempting to see if it'll help with nap time. We're struggling and it's been hard. Good luck though, I bet whatever you decide is going to be the best for the two of you! :)

nicole. said...

If he wants it - let him have it. Honestly, what harm is it gonna do, really? You can cross the "take it away" battle when it comes. You never know, it could be a phase and he will just toss it when its over!!

Plus, he just looks so content ;)

Tara said...

I think it is so funny that it likes it now! My son is a fan and I mean addicted to it so I don't really have any advice. Jack is almost 3 and the bink is going to have to leave shortly. He shows no sign of "giving it up". Ugh, I just don't know. I am no help to you...but just do what you feel is best for you and Bennett. Trust your mommy instincts. He is too darn cute too...

Courtney Kirkland said...

Noah never wanted a paci either. My thoughts? Just let him have it. When he gets ready to put it down, he will. It's highly unlikely he'll go to kindergarten with it. And if it helps calm him down when he's cranky and gives you some solitude, then I'd let him hold onto it. Who knows? He may decide in a week that he doesn't like it after all....

Kiara Buechler said...

Take them away!!! I have to be honest, I do a double-take when I see kids over a year old with a paci. As you know, Dane sucks his thumb, but it's only when he's tired or super uncomfortable. I would take that any day over a paci being in his mouth constantly. But don't worry, I will still love B even if he is taking a paci at 3 years old :-)

Shawntae said...

Take it away from him. Binkys are the most annoying thing ever. Take it from me whose son is a big binky baby! It sucks when you don't have one and they start freaking out.
I can't wait for the day that we can stop that habit.

jenny said...

I am here viw From Here to Eternity! And SOOOOO glad she pointed me your way!!! Your family is precious. and you have a precious heart. My kiddos ... didn't take one either... coarse I don't have any around... or they probably would have found them and done the same thing. I'm not sure what to say... because you know how "mommy" advice can be. I think deep down... you'll know what to do. Geesh... I really don't help much do i??

Andie Zimmerman said...

I'm with some of the others, I've never had a paci kid, so I can't relate. I know that people have their own way of doing things in order to get rid of this habit, but if he hasn't had it that long, it shouldn't be too hard to kick. Try different teething toys, or something safe for him to orally fixate on. My Nephew still sucks on a paci occasionally and he'll be turning three in May. Each child is different. Good luck to you Mandy!

rachel said...

With Grace and Camden, I took their binkies away at like 2 months old, maybe 3. I was SO afraid they were going to be one of those kids who walk around target with binkies in their mouths. With Charlie, I kept threatening to take it away, but he's 13 months now, and still has it. But only in his bed. Sometimes he'll be playing in his room and find it and stick it in his mouth, but if I ask him to give it to me because it's not night night time he will. Which is pretty cute actually. So, all this to say that I would probably nip it in the butt (haha! butt!), before he gets too attached.

Nikki said...

I think it's cute. And I have no children so I'm not in the business of doling out advice. Wait...who am I kidding? I love giving parenting advice without the credentials ;)

I'd let him have it until he gets real teeth. You should give him sugar too ;)

Branson @ Reflection of Something said...

I have no problem with my son having a binky (we call it a soothie) and have no set date when we are going to make him give it up. He doesn't use it all the time, but when he does it makes him happy... we all have things we do to soothe ourselves, and sucking on a binky seems less damaging than most adult habits ;-)

Seriously, just do what works best for you guys... you are the expert, mama! :)

Zwickl Family said...

This is seriously making me laugh. HARD. I never thought in a million years that kids like ours, who hated pacifiers, would end up liking them.

B, you are SO funny!

I say, take it away. I have no explanation, excepting that it looks funny on kids over one.

ADSchill said...

Hmmm...not sure how much my opinion counts as I don't have a kid, but here it is anyway.

I would hide them and only give it to him if he needs soothing. If he has them readily available to him, he may get in a habit.

The best of both worlds!

Karly said...

I'm torn on the issue myself. Afton (27 mo.) started with a nuk but when we forgot her nuk one day on a trip she shunned them all and switched to her thumb. She used to suck her thumb so much she would get rotten skin infections.

I used to be a thumb sucker, all the way until I turned nine, and my parents tried EVERYTHING to get me to stop (I only stopped at 9 because I wanted my ears pierced and that was the condition), so I am very obviously nervous about Afton sucking her thumb because I don't want it to last that long and she end up in braces like me.

Delaney (10 mo.) loves her nuk. Pretty much any and all nuks are her friend. But now Afton has started stealing them from Delaney and sucking on them herself. She even cries if I take it away from her.

Rudy hates the idea of Afton using the nuk after so much time, but I am leaning on the side of letting her have it. I figure if she uses it long enough, she may get over the urge to suck her thumb, and then I can take the nuks away if I want at a later time. Can't cut off her thumb afterall.

I think you just have to do what feels right to you.

Angie said...

kaylin loves hers...we limit it to nap/bedtime otherwise she would probably ALWAYS have it! i'll probably start taking it away from naps/bed around 15-18 months. i would probably take it from him...just because the more reliant he is on it, the more of a struggle it will be...just my take. i know it's going to be a big struggle in our house! good luck! and whatever you decide, he'll get over it soon enough : )

lindsay said...

i work at a daycare in the one year old class and we have worked so hard on getting rid of pacis, with parents permission of course. we have just noticed that those who dont take a paci are less likely to bite and are more verbal!

Sylvia Cook Photography said...

I would much rather see B's cute pouty lips than a binky.
It is weird seeing him with it in his mouth since he never used it before.
You should have just hidden them months ago.
He'll do fine without it:)

Jhen.Stark said...

So weird. Joss picked up a random binky today and started going to town on it!

I have no advice on this but boy oh boy, does Bennett look so cute with that Binky!

alexis said...

lol i have to laugh! im torn. i def think he is young enough for it to be ok but considering this is a new fad, i feel he may get really attached to it making it hard to take away. dawson is already giving his up on his own which i like! hrmmm haha. maybe just phase them out... only have 2 and see what happens. if he easily forgets about them problem solved. if he really really wants it, i say let him have it. you can always take it away! at least it's not his thumb :) good luck!

Lea also known as "CiCi" said...

Well, I'd be tempted to hide them once again before he really gets attached. I'm afraid he will get really attached and it will be a hard habit to break. But, bottom line, it's your call. Good luck!

Tiffany said...

I would probably hide them or cut the ends off. My son was addicted until 15 months and I had to throw them away and say enoughs, enough. My daughter on the other hand could've cared less.

Kari said...

The twins love their binkies but i'm going cold turkey at their 1-year birthday. My advice to you is to get rid of them while you can cuz I heard it's tough to do it later.

Ashley said...

My son will be 4 in May and still has his binkie at night. Lately he has been using them less so we are going to get rid of them at 4 years old. They have always helped him sleep but he's totally addicted. My daughter is 16 months and we still let her have hers too. I don't know the answer but Bennett looks SO cute sleeping! Babies sleeping melt my heart, binkie or no. If it really helps him and you, keep it. If not, maybe get out while you can?

Kiara Buechler said...

I jumped back on here to see the comments after mine, and then it struck me why I don't like the idea of B in particular using the paci, and I see your mom had the same thought, I miss seeing his cute little lips! His beautiful smile is hiding from us!

AmyLee said...

silly bennett! my vote is take it away so it's not a bigger problem later. we never offered a binkie & parker uses his blanket to soothe at night... he sucks on it until he's asleep. super cute.

he's young & he'll adapt & it won't be a big issue later. (i know mandy from harper's happenings went through a horrible phase of weaning from her binky... she had some pretty sad tweets).

anywho, there's my opinion :)

kriznizzel said...

Hmmm it's a hard call, Harper uses one but I find I have to get up in the night and find it when he cries. It's great to have for when he's tired, hurt or when I'm doing the shopping and he starts to get over-it.
At the moment Bennett knows how to selfsooth and if he sleeps well now, I would take it away that way you wont run in to problems down the track, I dread taking Harpers away.
In saying all this just do what feels right for you, people have given some great advice. You will find what works for you, maybe it could be a sometimes thing not used for sleep.
He looks so sweet in the photos.

Faith said...

I don't know what the "right answer" to this would be, but if it were me I'd let him have it and see if it's just a phase. My little man gets super-attached to certain things but the phases pass quickly. Since he's so old already I would think it would be the same type thing.

Rj and Jessie said...

I say take it away before it becomes an issue. It's really up to you and what you feel is right for you and your baby.

Casey Martinez said...

I enjoyed reading everyone's comments. You have been given a lot of feedback to chew on. I have to say that the pictures of your little guy with his paci in his mouth and sleeping with it after all these months made me smile and melt. It is ADORABLE to see a baby with a paci..but, that is my opinion. My in-laws hate that I got my daughter into pacis..they are so against them. Here is my two cents: Go with your gut. Does it bother you or do you enjoy that it calms and soothes him. THe one thing I have quickly learned is everyone has an opinion about everything so who is really right...no one, except you knows what is okay for you and your kiddos...heck, he can have it till he's five like suri cruise. Who are we to judge right. IT's all good. It all works out. You don't see 20 year old with pacis so obviously they stop taking them eventually. lol Good luck!

The Bechens said...

I say no binkie after 1! My number one reason is he needs to learn to self soothe and cope. He will need these skills throughout his life so why not start teaching him now? I know its hard but everyday he has it will just make it even more difficult to take away.
Just my opinion though :)