*this post was written last week. it's more of a journal that i just sat down and wrote because i needed to get these feelings out. i debated whether or not to post it but decided i should because i want to remember how i'm feeling about this.*
this is personal and hard for me to write, so please wipe off your feet and leave any judgements at the door before you proceed any further.
tonight, i did something hard. i gave our dog to a better home. i will not go into the specific reasons because there are many. but mainly, we just couldn't provide him the attention he needed. it may have been a failure on my part, the pet owner, but it remains true. i feel incredibly guilty for having given away a 'member of our family' as he was, but in the end - i truly feel he is better off.
now i know that a lot of people frown on my decision, and many have told me that you shouldn't "just get rid of animals" and "you made a commitment when you bought him". believe me, i know this. i feel that i have been judged harshly for my decision and it kind of hurts. just because you feel that you would never give your pet away, doesn't mean that it's not what's best for the animal. i assure you that i did not make this decision lightly. i have been thinking about it and debating over it for a very long time now. i've been selfish in the last year or so in keeping him *hoping* that things would just click better. i think i've realized that i am a 'pet person' and i am a 'kid person', but i am not a 'pet & a kid' kind of person. that is a hard truth to swallow.
anyway, i loved my chihuahua, Jeffrey. he brought me a lot of happiness and joy and i will miss him terribly. but i did what was best for my family, but most importantly - i did what i believe was best for my sweet dog. he deserves more love and attention than he would ever get here.
thanks for listening.