15 February 2012

concerns about sharing my time.

So you know how I wrote that post about how excited I am to have two boys? Well that is all still true and I am still super excited about having this next little guy. I just wanted to throw that out there before I kept going with my thoughts.

Here's what's been going on in my head in the last week.

Lately, I have been spending a lot of time just staring at Bennett, watching him play. Watching him learn. I've been giving him more hugs, kisses & cuddles than I ever have. I can not get enough of my little boy. Seriously, I'm obsessed with him.

Okay so where am I going with this...oh yah...

The other night, I was laying in bed thinking about what life will be like with 2 children. How will things change? How will I handle it? How will Bennett handle it? Will my Husband adapt okay?

These questions are so intense for me. I get overwhelmed thinking about it. I have sort of settled into a pretty great life and routine with Bennett during the days. I have an absolute blast with him, I love giving all of my time & attention to him.

I'm worried.

I know that once this new baby arrives, that will all change. I will have a newborn nursing for 30-45 minutes every two hours.. needing my attention to rock him and swaddle him. And feed him some more. I will be exhausted during the days because I will have been up all night with the baby.
Where does that leave Bennett?? He's such a high energy kid, and although he's getting more independent every day, he still relies on me for SO much. I guess I'm very afraid of disappointing him. Can a 2 y/o be disappointed in their Mother?? I don't know. But I'm already feeling guilty about having to share my time. I am already feeling so badly that Bennett will feel a little less attention.

My Husband says I spoil B too much anyway. But I don't necessarily think I do. I think I just treat him as though he's an only child, because for now - he is. Ugh. Okay this is starting to sound like I'm not excited about baby Fitz. That is NOT true. I really really am. But I'm just stressing out a little about having to share my time between him and Bennett. Will Bennett understand? Will he resent the new baby? Will he resent me???? I'm hoping that he transitions smoothly and quickly to having a little brother but I can't help but worry that he'll just be jealous. I am guessing that's normal for a certain period of time. Right?

I'm sure these are all of these feelings are pretty natural to have when you're expecting your 2nd child. I just can't stop thinking and feeling badly about the way Bennett will feel when I can't give him ALL of me anymore. I just love him so much, and I want him to always know that.

Now I'm rambling so I will stop.

I think I'm just looking for reassurance that I CAN share my time, attention and love between my children and that they both feel it equally.


79 comments:

labarndt said...

Aw. I think all of your concerns are 100% expected and okay. I think about these things, and we aren't even expecting baby #2 yet. It's a huge change, and because you've never dealt with it before, you anticipate what is to come and try to picture it. It'll all work out just fine! :)

Tales_Of_Two_Girls said...

I was worried about that too.  I think every mother is.  I was so lucky, in that Kendall was drawn to her sister from day 1.  From the minute she woke up she wanted to see, touch, love her sister.  While you are going to be giving him less attention, you are also giving him a sibling to love, which is priceless.  I can't begin to tell you how your heart will melt the first time you see them together, the first time Bennett tells his little brother he loves him, or when he calls him his best friend.  I really think the best gift I ever gave Kendall was her little sister, and vice versa.  

Jamie said...

Totally normal concerns! I freaked before having my second baby boy (just 5 1/2 months ago!) and about how my almost 2 year old would respond. It's definitely an adjustment, but my big guy LOVES his baby brother. True, he's not a fan of sharing his toys with him, and he definitely wants our attention all to himself at times, but overall I just KNOW they're going to be best friends. 

A sibling is a gift. Bennett will never remember feeling like he was losing your attention, but he will remember all of the amazing memories that you will have together as a family and that he will have with his brother. 

Use baby nap times and set aside special time with Bennett. You will feel a new normal immediately. It takes some adjusting, but overall it's just wonderful! Soon you'll be in awe of your two beautiful boys! Just more to love :) 

Amanda M. said...

I felt the same way with my little ones ~ my 2nd and my 3rd are 26 months apart. {There is 11 and a half years in between my first born and my second ~ and come to think of it, I had the same concerns at that time as well!} As long as you realize that there is going to be an adjustment period, you will be fine. It all flies by so quickly......

My two little ones are the best of friends ~ they always have been. And you will be surprised at how easily Bennett will adapt to sharing you AND your husband. Make it a point to spend quality time alone with him and he won't feel left out. Once your little guys gets here, all of these fears will be long forgotten! :)

Chelsea @The Curly Cues said...

It is like you pulled the thoughts directly from my brain! No advice here, just someone to commiserate :)

Mary@It's a Sun Kissed Life said...

i felt this way too when i was pregnant with my daughter. my kids are 14 months apart. i had the same concerns as you. but when my daughter was born everything sort of just fell into place and my heart grew bigger enough to love both of them equally. i kept my son involved with my daily routines with the new baby so that he wouldnt feel left out, i had him help me during diaper changes, bath time and would even let him hold his baby sister. now they are best friends.

you will be an awesome mom to both of your boys!

i've been a follower for a while and i think this is my very first comment, ever.

Rebecca Doyle Photography said...

I think the fact that you care about it so much means you are going to be okay and give these two little boys lots and lots of love .......
Oh and I have a 2 1/2 year old - and I am totally obsessed with her! I mean, how can you NOT just stare at them and touch their little toes, and kiss them and cuddle them all the time! Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy.

kk @ the mom diggity said...

I know exactly what you are feeling. I remember feeling this oh, around 6 months ago. Terrified that I wouldn't be able to share my time. And I was OBSESSED with my first, how would I ever love this baby as much?? But my answer? You just do. It just works. And it comes easier than you may think! I started pushing Jessi to be more independant (which wasn't hard for her because she already is) toward the end of my pregnancy and this helped a ton. Instead of doing everything for her and with her, I encouraged her to be a big girl and do it herself. I found that by encouraging her to be "big" it made her feel special and made the adjustment time easier. You will absolutely fall in love with your second, and honestly I think you fall in love with them MORE because you know what's coming. :) You're going to do GREAT Mama! And I'm here for you if you ever need anything! Wish I could be there physically to help!

Becca said...

Hello, Mandy! I just joined your blog. What cute pictures you have. I'm not a mom, but I have nieces and nephews, and can testifiy what a huge blessing they are. I'm sure your son (over time anyway...) will really love having a little brother. God bless!

Olivia said...

You can and you WILL, somehow it all works out!!  I think just being aware of both your children and making little efforts here and there to spend quality time with each of them makes everyone happy.  Honestly, my girls are glued to each other's hips and really love to be together which makes it a lot easier.  I think that if you show them love, they will feel loved, it is that simple.  These are totally normal feelings, I thought about it alot during my second pregnancy.  But your heart just grows even bigger and the love you have to share does too!

Daogreer Earth Works said...

Your love isn't a finite amount that will now be divided in half; you have plenty for Bennett, and you have as-yet-untapped reserves waiting for Fitz. Bennett will also learn to treasure his baby brother, even if it takes him 20 years to realize it. Siblings who grow up together tend to have more in common with each other than with any other human being they'll encounter. You're giving Bennett a gift.

Stephanie said...

When you posted the other post, I thought, "I wonder if she'll post about handling and loving 2". It's SOO normal that you are feeling this! I felt this way when we had #2, and even more when we had #3. No we have 5 and I know that my heart has plenty of love and while I sometimes feel like the day doesnt have enough hours in it, their needs are met and they know I love them and they each get one on one time daily.  You CAN do this!! Two is so much fun (and so challenging too) and SOO worth it. 

Carolyn said...

First off....You two are Gorgeous!

Second of all, I know the feelings you're feeling.  I too felt the same way when I was pregnant with my second.  I was worried about my daughter and how she would adapt to having a little brother.  But you know what, once your baby is here it all falls into place.  And Yes you'll be tired but some how you find the energy and strength for both your babies, husband and house duties.  That's why we are called supermoms because somehow we manage to handle it all.  And trust me, it's all worth it.  Which i'm sure you've already realized it is.  Hang in there, enjoy your time with just you and Bennett.  

Christy said...

I think most mom's have these questions, concerns, etc when they're going from one to two. Here's my insite as a mom to soon to be 6...it all just works out. You don't know how this little one will nurse, snuggle, or sleep. You'll remember just how much newborns sleep (hopefully) and will have plenty of time to still spend one on one with Bennett. You not only can do it, you will and you'll wonder how your life was ever full with only Bennett!!

Love for a child doesn't lesson, but instead it's like your heart just grows bigger, God gives you everything you need for love and provisions!!!

Sara @ Seeing Purple Stars said...

i went through this when i was pregnant with owen. it does take time to get into a new routine when baby is born, but it will happen. it didn't take long for my oldest to get use to having a baby brother either. hang in there!! <3

Lea said...

Oh, Mandy, I can't really tell you how it works out, but it does and I bet it won't be as life changing as you are expecting.  Bennett likely will experience some jealousy but hopefully it will be short lived.  And, remember at such a young age, he'll likely never even remember this time in his life.  You are a great Momma and I pray it will all go as smoothly as possible for you.  Blessings my dear!

Julie said...

Trust me...it will all be okay.  Before you know it will be odd to think that you only had one child.  It does seem weird to think about right now though.  I think everyone goes through this.  I know for me that each time I had a new baby I went through a day or two of feeling odd about having this new person join us.  But pretty quickly it started to feel natural to have another child.  

Karly Gomez said...

I think everyone worries about it, and I don't think it stops at 2, either. Even with #3 being almost 9 months old now, I still worry about it! But they all seem to be doing fine, and not fighting each other for who gets the most attention, so I take it as the biggest reassurance that I'm doing OK. You'll figure out what works best for all of you, and you will all be happy =)

April McGrew said...

I have absolutely NO advice, but I wanted to let you know that you are not alone! I'm not even pregnant with #2, but I have such an intense and special relationship with my little fireball that I worry about her adjustment if/when we have another one.  Will she think I love her less? Will we still have our special moments?  


Again, I have no wisdom, but you are not alone.  I think that since you are worrying about it, it means you really truly care and that no matter what, you will make sure he still knows how much you love him.  That makes you an amazing mother. 

Jen Mallinson said...

we just had our 2nd about 3 months and our oldest turn 2, 2 weeks after he was born. i laid awake crying in bed night after night towards the end of my pregnancy-worrying about the exact same things. i'm not going to lie, i'm still figuring it all out but it has been SO much better than i ever expected it to be. there are still some nights when i look back on the day and feel like i didn't give one child hardly any attention. there are still some days when i find myself missing life with just 1 child-not that i would ever give our sweet baby boy back but i just miss having so much time to pour into just that 1 child. it's an emotional transition but i think it gets easier every week. our oldest has never shown jealousy towards the baby but i do feel like she sometimes acts out just to get attention that she is lacking. all in all, i think you will be pleasantly surprised and so relieved...and yes, you are totally normal for what you are feeling!

Andrea said...

Thing is - you will have a totally different relationship with baby Fitz.  And while having a sibling will change your relationship with Bennett a little, you will still have the same bond.  Not saying that you won't have those moments of "omg, what did I do?!" but trust me when I say you will have so many more moments of "I love having two."  

Angie M. said...

I think your fears are totally normal but I know you are going o be an amazing mommy to both your sons!

Kara @ Just1Step said...

Girl, I'm feeling the same thing.  I get worried about many things about the baby on the way...time, attention, energy, money...but then I remember I just have to turn it all over to the Lord.  Send it up, ask Him for guidance, and trust Him.  He says that children are a gift and a reward (Psalm 127) and he tells us to be fruitful...I don't think He'd tell us all those things if He didn't think it was best for us and know we could handle it with Him by our side.  Based on what the Bible says, I think you, your husband, and Bennett (and Fitz!) are going to be just fine.  :)

Blanca said...

Hello! (I'm new to your lovely blog)

I felt just as you do when I was pregnant with my second but life with two littles is wonderful. I sneak in special "mommy" time for each kiddo and we have "mommy/daddy" dates at least once a month. So that way each child is getting one on one time with us. My kiddos are 3 and 2 but they feel really special when we have our dates. A few times a week instead of having story time together at bedtime we have solo reading time with them so I'm snuggled with one reading and daddy is with the other. Having to kids can be tough sometimes because you worry if each is getting enough love and attention but as long as your children feel loved and you do your best you will be a WONDERFUL momma of two. :)

I hope that helps. :)

Branson said...

I can't give any reassurance from experience, but I can tell you that I think you are a wonderful mama and have complete confidence that you will rock the two kid thing ;) 

Kiara said...

I was thinking about this today too, not sure why!  I felt almost sick to my stomach at the thought that I won't possibly be able to love another child with the intensity that I love Dane.  I mean, I've only got so much to give, right?  But everyone says that it's possible for your love to double, so I have to trust that is true.  Yes, it will be a huge adjustment for B, but I think he is going to be a splendid older brother :-) 

jenny said...

hi there~ i'm a new subscriber!  i love your blog and can totally relate to so much of what you're going through!  i just had my #2 five months ago and i felt like reading your concerns were exactly what i was worried about at that time.  it'll be tough but slowly as you all fall into a rhythm and schedule you'll find that life was truly meant to be with your two little loves.  and it really is possible to love your 2nd one just as much as your first~ sometimes it'll be the same or sometimes a different kind of love but you'll have so much more love to give to both of them.  of course there will always be guilty feelings of sharing time and all that~ but just know that you're doing everything out of love and no mom is ever perfect.  =) 

Jess said...

It will be hard. Like really hard. I have a 3 1/2 yr old and a now 11 month old. I feel like I let my eldest down daily. The thing is, it's an adjustment. For EVERYone. Yet, you will all get through it and no one will be hurt forever. 
The way that you love Bennet won't change, the way you show it won't, but the amount of time will. Honestly, the ONLY thing that helps me not break into tears about how I can't do it all, is the fact that momma's have been doing THIS for centuries and obviously, children adjust. This isn't what you were hoping for I fear, but if anything it's honest. 

Don't stress, your children will feel loved and all the rest (the housework) can WAIT. 

Katie Lady said...

I feel the exact same way right now! Jackson requires all of my attention at all times and I love giving it to him, but I'm worried about how he will react when the new baby comes. It may be a hard transition, but I guess we just have to remember that we are giving our sons the best gift ever...a sibling! My siblings are my best friends. Once the new baby can play with Bennett, I'm sure they will be best buddies and love spending time together. He won't resent you and pretty soon, I'm sure he won't even be able to remember life without little Fitz!

amy@agoodlife said...

i literally started a post exactly like this on this topic tonight!  i was writing parker's 21-month update & went into this long paragraph about how i'm realizing he's not gonna be my only baby much longer & we only have a little bit of time left with just the two of us, blah blah blah.  finally i cut out the paragraph & saved it for a post all on it's own.

long story short, i have no advice but i FEEL ya.  i'm like 20 weeks behind you & i feel ya.  i guess it'll just have to work out, right??  

Amycournoyea said...

I am feeling the same way right now! I have a 2 year old and am due in April. I almost feel guilty in a way that her world is going to change so much and she doesn't have any control over it. But again having a younger sibling can be so much fun! I've gotten her a 'big sister back pack' to help carry baby stuff to make her feel more included. Ive heard of throwing a big sister or brother party for them! 

mandy @ asortafairytale said...

 Thanks dear!! I am starting to think that it will work out, too! Just gotta roll with it I think :)

mandy @ asortafairytale said...

 I am hoping that Bennett will just be drawn to his little brother, too. But for some reason I don't see that happening. He's never really been around newborns so I think he might be a little scared at first, ha ha. We'll see!! And sounds like Kendall is a wonderful big sister!

mandy @ asortafairytale said...

 It's so comforting for me to hear these stories of how the older siblings really love their new sibling. And you're right... I plan on making sure I set aside lots of one-on-one time with Bennett!

mandy @ asortafairytale said...

 Bennett and his Brother will be just about 26 months apart as well. I love to hear that your littles are the best of friends! It really gives me lots to look forward to!

mandy @ asortafairytale said...

 Well I guess we'll both see how the older children deal with things soon enough, right?? You aren't that far behind me ;-)

mandy @ asortafairytale said...

 Thank you for leaving a comment!! I love meeting new people! That's an awesome idea, to make sure to keep the older sibling involved in what you're doing... I'm sure it really helps to feel like they are "helping".

mandy @ asortafairytale said...

 Thanks so much for your sweet comment!! Sometimes I feel a little nutso about how crazy in love I am with my child.. glad to hear I'm not the only one :)

mandy @ asortafairytale said...

 Thank you for joining me readers!! And thank you for commenting, I love meeting new people!

mandy @ asortafairytale said...

 Thank you Olivia! I think it's so cute that your girls are glued at the hip!! Hope my boys will be, too!

mandy @ asortafairytale said...

 Thank you!

mandy @ asortafairytale said...

Thank you for the encouragement!! Means a lot!!

mandy @ asortafairytale said...

 Thanks Carolyn! I am definitely just soaking up all this time I have with Bennett right now... and definitely hoping that we'll just kind of fall into a new routine when the babe comes.

mandy @ asortafairytale said...

 I do remember how much newborns sleep, and for that, I'm grateful! :) I will definitely use that time to spend one-on-one with Bennett. And maybe I'll take a nap or two if I can get Bennett down at the same time. He he. And yes, I believe that my heart has so much more room to grow! I can't wait. Thanks for your thoughtful comment!

mandy @ asortafairytale said...

 Thanks Sara!!

mandy @ asortafairytale said...

 Thanks Lea, you always have the most wonderful and encouraging things to say!! I appreciate it!

mandy @ asortafairytale said...

 Ha ha I'm sure you are right. I know that in a year, I won't even remember what life was like with just one child. It will be an adventure to get settled, but I'm hoping it's a good one!

mandy @ asortafairytale said...

 Aren't all of these questions kind of daunting to think about?? Everyone says not to worry, that things will "just fall into place"... and I'm trying to have that mindset. It's just hard to think about my first born feeling left out at all, so I will definitely have to work overtime to make sure he's included in everything! Thank you for taking the time to comment!

mandy @ asortafairytale said...

 Looks like we are on very similar timelines with our little ones!! I feel guilty for sure that Bennett won't be able to understand what's going on for the first little while. Just hoping he'll adjust quickly. And like you said, having a younger sibling is so much fun, so I'm really looking forward to that. And getting the backpack for her to help carry baby stuff is a really good idea!!

mandy @ asortafairytale said...

 Can't wait to read your post about it!! I have been needing to feel like I'm not alone in feeling this way!

mandy @ asortafairytale said...

 BTW, I'm super excited you're having another boy, too! Boys rock! And yes, I'm hoping that once the new baby can start to interact with B a little more, they will become the best of friends. I'm sure your boys will, too!!

mandy @ asortafairytale said...

 Thank you for your honesty!! And you're right, the housework can wait :)

mandy @ asortafairytale said...

 Hi Jenny!! Thanks for stopping by and commenting! It's so nice to know that others can relate so well. I enjoy reading people's stories about how things have just sort of worked out. I know it will take a little time, but it's really comforting to have so much encouragement! I really appreciate it!

mandy @ asortafairytale said...

 We were just talking about this the other day huh?? And you're right, every one does say that your heart can just continue to grow and grow every day! So I'm sure that I will love this new baby just as much as Bennett.

mandy @ asortafairytale said...

 Thanks Branson!!

mandy @ asortafairytale said...

 Hi Blanca, nice to meet you! The mommy/daddy dates are such a great idea. I was just telling my husband and I really want to make time to do this with my older child at first so he knows he's not forgotten and we can keep that wonderful bond we have. Thank you for your sweet comment!

mandy @ asortafairytale said...

 You're so right. I know that the Lord will be there with us,  helping us along. Children definitely are a gift.

mandy @ asortafairytale said...

 Thank you, Karly!

mandy @ asortafairytale said...

Defintiely looking forward to having two kids!! And I am kind of excited to see how how my relationship with the new baby will differ than my relationship with Bennett. They will both be equally as special, of course. But you're right - they will be different. 

mandy @ asortafairytale said...

 Thank you Angie!

mandy @ asortafairytale said...

You're right, it is a huge emotional transition. And sometimes I feel like it will be harder on me than it will be on Bennett. Ha ha. But thanks so much for your kind words of encouragement!! Means so much.

Courtney Kirkland said...

I think it's only natural to have those kinds of worries. I mean, Bennett has been your only child for a while an now you're adding another baby to the mix. He will probably have some trouble adjusting at first, but I think he will slowly come to understand what's going on. A friend of mine had TWINS her second pregnancy and they spent a LOT of time during the last part of her pregnancy and the earliest months of the babies lives doing extra little things for their big brother. They really made him part of the baby's birth (bought him big brother gifts for every day they were in the hospital, took him on a special big brother lunch right after the babies were born, etc). I think that Bennet knows that you love him and that won't change. :) He's going to love baby Fitz as much as you guys! And you are a great mom, so don't doubt it! :) 

Erin B said...

Mandy, I feel like the more I get into mommy blogs, the more I realize you are NOT the only one with the same sentiments. It's only natural to hit the point of worrying over splitting your time. That is one of my biggest fears with having another little one. J is also very high energy and I don't see that changing. I think a mom's ability to split her time is one of that natural things that will jut happen. No worries, I have a feeling you, Bennett and Fitz will be just fine!

Heather kale said...

All these feelings are normal! I still have times where I "feel bad" for Jonathan because Chloe is in her learning stages and we get excited and reward her for doing all the "first". All the things he has already done but doesn't always understand that we already shared that with him. You will adjust and learn how to make time for both. I think something that works for us is letting Jonathan be involved. So they feel important. I was always saying how he had to be good and teach her things. He really enjoyed her crawling and then walking and now they talk haha. Your a great mom and you will do just fine!

Nikki said...

I remember my Mom talking about this when she was pregnant with me (okay well I remember her memory, I did not hear it from the womb ;)  You'll find a new routine, and it will be awesome for B.  Just look at how great it was to have a sibling.  Don't you worry dear.

AP said...

I believe we are wearing a pair of the exact same shoes, lady and I am SO SO glad I found your blog. I am absolutely a new reader. I'm currently 22 weeks pregnant with our second baby (another BOY!) and currently have an amazing, hilarious, high-energy 19 month old ruling the roost. Your post basically brought me to near tears because I could have written it myself. I know these things will work themselves out and at times I find reassurance in knowing that Carter will (hopefully) NEVER remember this time in his life- but the thought of disappointing? Nearly tears me to itty bitty pieces. It truly breaks my heart. Until then, like you, I'll be snapping away.. and putting down the camera for some extra love and snuggles because I know come June.. things will change. Hugs, Mama! 

Renee Williams said...

You're right, these are all natural fears/worries to have. I have 3 little ones but when we had our second I felt the exact same way. Our second was also our second son and I was also concerned about having another boy because I already had my boy and no one else could replace him. But once Baby Fitz is here you will settle back into a routine and Bennett won't be left in the dust. It is going to be challenging at first and Bennett will probably have times when he needs you more and you just can't be there or vice versa and yes that will suck for the both of you. That comes along with having multiple children. I was an only child so I had an extra hard time realizing the checks and balances between siblings but my husband has 3 siblings so he's helped me know what is normal or not as our kids grow. My first 2 are almost 4 years apart so that helped, my older son kind of adjusted really well because he could understand this baby needed me more at the time. My younger ones are 19 months apart and that was the real struggle at first (plus my baby girl was extremely colicky so that left the older 2 with even less of me) but now my youngest is 15 months and we are all happy (most of the time) and I just try to make special time for each of them and we have family time all together. It's not all going to fall into place just perfectly (though if it does for you I will be extremely jealous lol) and it will take work/time but once baby gets older and he and Bennett can play together, all these feelings will seem so far away because you will be just in awe over how sweet your boys are together. Even the wrestlingand arguing my boys do together is just priceless, I love watching them interact and I bet you will feel the same with your boys! All these feeling you're having are just signs you are a great momma! Take care! 

mandy @ asortafairytale said...

 Ohh it's so nice to meet others that wear the same shoes as me! I really does help to have people to relate to! Thanks so much for your sweet comment!!

molly said...

Oh Mandy, I read this post and it reminded me SO much of how I felt exactly when I was pregnant with my second boy. I worried and fretted and truth be told, when the new baby arrives, you don't have much time to worry about it.

I will say that I remember being a bit depressed when we all came home and we were a new family of four. I would watch Landon act out a bit to get my attention and it made me feel sad for him. But I just tried to include him as much as possible. I got him a step stool to use near the diaper changer. So when we changed Brigham's diaper I always had him "help" me by grabbing a diaper. Other little things like that. Even turning the button to turn on the baby swing! It helps to include them so that you're not always pushing them away.

I will honestly say that it's hard but those feelings don't last forever. Every once in awhile I will actually feel bad for my youngest! Because he's the one that never had any real "alone" time with us. He has never been the only child and so I worry a bit more about him (second child syndrome) than I do about Landon.

Erika @ te and baby said...

I have no advice either, I just wanted to let you know what an awesome writer you are! I absolutely love your blog so far. I can't wait to go back and read the archives.


Erika
www.teandbaby.com

Sarah Halstead said...

Awww. Sweet photo! It is hard to balance but it will come and everything will work out. 

Michelle Parrott said...

I had these EXACT feelings when I was pregnant with our #2. Our 1st was only 7 months when we found out and I had MAJOR guilt. I just felt like I was robbing him of his 'baby' time with me. Turns out things worked out well and no harm was done :) Now I'm pregnant with #3 and I'm freaking out again! My boys take up all of my time and I'm just not sure how I'll fit another one in the mix...I think as Mothers we just happen to worry about it but in the end it always works out :) 
xx

casey said...

I have the same feeling and I know it is because D pretty much is the center of our family universe.  We adore her and love spending our quality time just with her.  There is nothing quite like only having one child and getting that quality time with them.  I've decided that after the next little one is born that I will want to try and get a quick store trip or walk in with just D and me while daddy watches baby so that she and I can still get some alone moments together.  I feel yah 100%.  I can't wait to hear about what the experience of transitioning from 1 to 2 is for you as it will def. help prep me! 

Gina_AcuteDesigns said...

That all sounds really tough. I don't have any children but I can say that when I adopted my second dog there years ago, I had total post-puppy depression and I felt bad about my time being taken from my older dog.  Soon I just realized that it was all ok and there was enough of me to go around.  

p.s. sorry if you hate when dog mamas refer to human mamas concerns in the same way :).

Sarah [NurseLovesFarmer.com] said...

Hi, Mandy! New reader, but I've been following you for awhile on IG. Love your pictures and your sweet little guy and mine share a birthday! I often have these same feelings about getting pregnant with #2 and how I'll share my time between Braden, the baby, my husband....and keeping up with a household! I suppose we'll just take it in stride and take it day by day, it'll be a learning process for all of us! Good luck!

Seattlesmithsblog said...

What an amazing picture of you and your little boy!  His blue eyes are stunning!

Christy Kaiser said...

I am late to the comment game on this one but thought I should comment anyway. I am a mother of two and know just how you are feeling now. I had James when Megan was 6. I was so worried about her having been a only child for so long that her adjustment would be hard on her not to mention me having to relearn the baby stuff again...or so I thought. The one thing that hit me after his arrival is that our family felt so perfect and blessed with his arrival. Was I tired? yes...Did I notice? not so much. Everything adjusted and balanced itself out super naturally. It became the new way of life. I became a better mother to Megan because I knew the attention she got was less than before it needed to count. Good luck with you new addition and pat yourself on the back for being a fantastic mother...if you weren't worried and thinking of these things you wouldn't be the Momma that you are now. :o)

Mindi said...

I have been wanting to comment on this post for awhile now and just cleared out my inbox and remembered.  I had the exact same concerns when I was pregnant with #2.  Then he was here and #1 fell into his roll as a big brother SO WELL!  I now can't even imagine what life was like with just one sweet boy to love on.  Having two while harder is that much more fun and exciting.  I love that they have each other to play with and with time grow old together.  As silly as it sounds my hubby and I won't be around forever so it's nice to know they will always have each other.  Hang on for a fun and crazy ride!!  

aimymichelle said...

from what i've seen of mothers thats a really normal feeling to have. i am not a mother i don't have kids and i'm not even married. but i've watched a lot of kids in my life as i'm a nanny and it is normal to feel like that.

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