02 February 2012

On naming a baby.

I had mentioned in a previous post that there was a blog post I had in the works about baby names. Lots of you got excited... yay! Only... you will be disappointed that I am not actually revealing anything. Ha ha. Sorry :)

My Husband and I have always had a hard time coming up with boys names that we like. I want my boys to have names that are recognizable but not super popular. So therein lies the problem. I feel like all of the boys names out there are either way too traditional and common, or super trendy.

With my last pregnancy, we didn't even have a solid list of names until a month or two before my due date. Luckily, we agreed on some and took the list to the hospital with us. I secretly had a name that I loved more than the rest, though. And I had convinced myself that I we would use that name. But, we decided not to name Bennett until he was born and I'm so glad we did it like that because the name that I had secretly picked out.. didn't end up being the name we used. When it came down to it... it just did not feel right.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with picking a name out ahead of time, some people just know what they want. But for me, I really feel like I need to see my babies sweet face, and meet them for the 1st time before I name them. The moments directly following Bennett's birth are a bit fuzzy to me, but the thing I remember most clearly, is when they handed my baby boy to me,  I just had this overwhelming feeling that his name should be Bennett. The interesting thing was the months leading up to my labor, I really wasn't super fond of the name and didn't think I'd use it... but when that moment came - it just fit.

Now that I'm my 3rd trimester, the time has come for my Husband and I to get serious about making a list of potential names for our little Fitz. (We nickname our babies while they are in the womb, in case you didn't already know that!).  We're currently working on a list of names to consider using. I am hoping that when this baby is placed in my arms for the first time, the same feelings come to both me & my Husband and we'll just know what his name should be.

After all, he's stuck with it forever.


What are your thoughts? Do you name your baby as soon as you know the gender (or have names picked out for either sex)? Or do you wait until you meet them to decide?


68 comments:

Karin said...

Here in the Netherlands it for people to share the gender of their baby when it's not born yet, many people even don't want ot know the gender beforehand, so naming the child or even sharing the name is very unusual around here. Having said that, we knew what were going to have when we were expecting our little ones and somehow, even when they were still in my belly, it felt like we could already predict their characters. And it all so fits! We had the name in our heads, but nothing was carved in stone until they were born. And then we saw if it fitted.. and the names fit, all three of them.

Isn't it a fun time, all this planning, dreaming, anticipating? I wish you so much pleasure and joy this period!

Karin said...

I see somehow a part of my words disappeared :S I was trying to say: "Here it is not common for people to share...."

Tales_Of_Two_Girls said...

We had a list of names with both of ours, but we didn't pick a name until they were born.  Both kids, we didn't go with the name that I thought we would, or that I thought would be my favorite.  I totally get what you mean about seeing your baby and just knowing what name suites them.  My husband would disagree on name choices with me all during the pregnancies, and I'd get so frustrated.  After I had each of the kids, he was so in shock of everything that just happened that he told me whatever I wanted. :)  I can't wait to see what name you will go with.  You look beautiful pregnant, by the way.

Amy Naumowicz said...

I had my son's name picked out way before I was pregnant.  I loved the name Jack.  If I had a girl, it would be more difficult, but I would still probably have had the name picked out ahead of time.  Good luck!

Andie Zimmerman said...

Landon's name was decided upon in my second trimester.  We picked the name Walker for his middle because it was a family name on my husband's side.  So, the name Landon Walker was set early on.  Liam's name was a little more difficult.  We had a gazillion names picked out but needed help deciding.  This is where a family/friend poll came in.  It helped a ton, but Liam wasn't one of the names.  I am of Irish decent.  I like to look at those things, too.  As well as name meanings.  However, at this point, I just wanted a name.  After months and months of twirling names around, I found myself in the hospital in labor without a clue.  We were given the birth certificate documents still having no idea what to do.  Finally, it hit us.  "We'll name him Liam."  Aaron's Dad's name is William, I'm Irish and it started with an "L" (which we were trying to stick with).  We knew that the middle name would be Daire (after my maternal great grandmother, also Irish).  So, that is how we came to name him Liam Daire.  Man, talk about stress!  For a minute, I didn't think our Mr. Herculiam would have a name at all.  It's not easy to pick just ONE name for your child - a name they will have forever and still like you for...Ha!  I wish you the best, Mandy.  I'm sure whatever name you pick for your new bundle will be amazing!

Erica said...

We had our names picked out before our little ones arrived. We always take forever trying to figure out names, middle names are family names, so it always seems we are coming up w/ 1st names to flow with the middle names! My husband and I always seem to take forever to agree on anything either! Naming kids is HARD, especially for boys, girls names are much easier for me to choose and the list is WAY longer than boy names (and boy names keep turning into girl names!) It always seems to be the name we picked in the end worked out perfectly for our little ones. My son looks like a Ryan (he was also named after someone), my daughter looks likes a Molly and hopefully our 3rd (due in March) will look like a Henry! I'm sure you will in the end pick out the perfect name for your little one! It's a good thing we have a lot of time to think of a name, since the process seems so hard!

Britt said...

My husband and I had an AWFUL time picking out names too! It took until almost the end of each pregnancy to do so! Can't wait to hear the name! And that shirt??? OMG love! Whered you get it???

Alicia said...

We actually had a name that we both liked but weren't set on when I went into labor with Simon. So we went to the hospital with lists of about 7-8 names if it was a girl and 6 names if it was a boy that we both liked. We kind of feel the same, it's hard to know until you meet them. Actually, even after we met him, we weren't certain about his name and we took 4 days "trying it out" before we made it official on his birth certificate. (Yes, you can actually bring your baby home from the hospital without an official name. It just isn't very common and the staff doesn't always know how to handle it from a paperwork standpoint. The woman finally just agreed to hold onto the paperwork for a few days until we notified her.) The name we picked wasn't our "first" choice in the months leading up to his birth, but it fits him so well!

Ashlee Wilcox said...

seriously your selfie pics are amazing. You are glowing with pregnancy bliss! :) We already have baby #2 name picked out-- have since our first pregnancy.  It's a unisex name.
I'm secretly bummed that we won't even discuss a name when we find out we are pregnant but I am head over heals with the name so...

molly said...

I always knew that if I had a son I would name him Landon. It's from one of my favorite books, A Walk to Remember. So when I found out I was pregnant at 6 weeks we already had our boy name picked!

Then with Brigham, I had a few names picked out if he were a boy. Turns out my husband loved the one I loved so easy peasy! We called him "Baby B" and did the reveal of the name on the day he was born.I can't wait to hear what you pick!

Stephanie Clark said...

We didn't even discuss names until after we knew the sex, but then decided on Jonah somewhere around the start of the 3rd trimester. I like traditional boy names, but with our last name "clark" everything just sounded so PLAIN. So I think we landed somewhere in between. Recognizable, but not too trendy. If we have another boy... I have no clue...
It was kind of weird though after he was born, it took me a good 8 hours or so to actually call him by his name, but now it totally fits him!  I've wondered if anyone else has had this experience..

Skye said...

I think naming your baby is one of the hardest things. I grew up with a name I was made fun of for- and I mean really made fun of for - like beat up over & harassed. So, in my head, that was the biggest thing I did not want my daughter to have to endure that hell of being made fun of for your name. 
So it took my husband & I a long time of going through lists, books, suggestions, etc... etc... We did finally come up with one we loved and decided that was it. We decided 2 months before Julianna was born. 

But I totally get where you are coming from on waiting until he is born! :) My friend did that and was so happy she did, b/c she felt the name she picked for her daughter after she was born was the perfect name! Good luck - you will pick the perfect one for your son! :) 

Ashley said...

For me, for some reason I can't imagine seeing my newborn baby and just knowing his/her name should be this or that.  I'm sure it totally happens, but I don't know, I can't picture it.

We started discussing names when I found out I was pregnant, but didn't really focus until we found out the sex.  When I had worked in childcare a couple years before, there was a little girl named Ryann, and I was head over heels for that little sweetheart.  She was kind, loving, and had her own little style.  And I really loved her name with the two n's.  A lot of people think the extra N is silly, but I liked it.

When we found out we were having a girl we tried to come up with a bunch of different names, trying to convince ourselves that there was a better name.  But in the end both my husband and I kept coming back to Ryann, and I couldn't imagine her being named anything else.  We considered Haylee, Madison and Tegan, but now none of those some right.

Good luck naming your little one!  It is always crazy thinking about the fact they will (most likely) have that name for the rest of their life.  I was totally freaked out by that, and just in case my daughter hated having a boy's name, we figured Elizabeth was a decent middle name.  If she really feels the need she can go by Elizabeth, Liz, Beth... you get the idea :o).

I seriously need to stop writing novel length comments on peoples blogs... sorry!

Kaley Poag said...

first of all - you look amazing! :) love your hair like that too!
for both kids - i had names picked out before they were born. with kullen, it was like the day we found out he was a boy, he was named. something about seeing his face in the sonogram, i knew he was a kullen and can't imagine him any other way! for rhys, it was a little different ... we decided on the name a little bit after we found out but i always thought that i might change it depending on how i felt once i saw him. obviously, the name didn't change because once i saw hims face - he just looked like a rhys! haha! :) 
can't wait to see what you guys come up with!

Summer Crosbie said...

I had mentioned Hudson's name before we found out it was a boy.  Then when we did find out it was a he, I started to see the name in the most random places. I saw it on a key a t work, on a big truck and so on.  Never actually heard the name before (well now its a lot more common!).   I just knew it fit and it was nice to talk to him and use his name even though he was still in my belly.

I totally understand waiting though.  I had a couple of friends that did that it was a little more personal for them in the fact that no one knew his/her name until they were born.  Love that!

melissa rohr said...

i imagine naming a boy is so hard! tim and i struggled before we even knew our stella was in fact not a boy. i personally put a lot of pressure on us to pick the perfect boy name - it had to mean so much!
when rowan was born we had, had her name picked out for ever but the second i saw her i was so UNSURE, that i begged to change our minds. in the end, i am so glad we didn't though - i LOVE her name, it is so perfect for her...even though i am a little bummed all of the sudden it is so popular. that is ok, she is the original ;)

melissa rohr said...

*also, learning from our mistake telling people zoe was almost a penelope - people will tear whatever name you pick apart. of course they won't do that after it is their name - so we don't share anymore either!

Caigemullen said...

we name them in advance, but they are names we talk about for a long time and they all mean something. all of our children are named after family. Right now we have graycie michale (pronounced michelle) my grandma is grayce and my mom is michale. the next girl will be olivia christine. i think olivia fits with graycie and christine is my husbands moms name. the boy will be declan mac. my husband is like SUPER irish and we decided to give our son an irish name like daddy. and if we have another girl it will be emma elizabeth. my bff for life (we even have the same bday) is named emma and my middle name, my sister, and some aunts all have the middle name elizabeth. (i want girls, if you can't tell) however, when graycie was born, i wasn't sure that she looked like a graycie but i went with it anyway. she is definitely a graycie now!! i love bennets names. i think it fits him so well. i can't wait to see what you pick for little fitz!

Andrea said...

I wish I had more willpower to have done that.  It sounds so divine to look into your fresh babe's eyes and have the name just fit him!  But... I am impatient and have to settle on something.  Both of my kids have had pretty definite names going into the gender ultrasound.  

Nikki said...

Well the way we name babies is...oh wait.  We've never named a baby ;)  But with our furbabies....Charlie didn't have a name for a few days (I wanted Vinnie and wanted to save Charlie for a child), but when Bryan took him into the vet he picked Charlie.  Issy was adopted and came with the name Missy May and as to not totally confuse her, we went with Issy.  What was Bennetts womb name?  I can't remember.

Ayako Jordan said...

Naming was hard. To us, I wanted to (of course) give my son a Japanese name but it had to be something easy for my husband to pronounce. So that was the hardest part. I picked several names and did a name onomancy, then finally we agreed on one name, which was "Yuichi". Meaning "gentle one". I want my son to grow with gentle heart. Also my son has my maiden name. He is the only boy in my family, so I wanted him to carry it (it's kind of a big deal to carry a family name in Japan, especially for boys). First name was easy. It just popped in my head. I combine all names together and did a name onomancy again, and I got a good result. Here is my son's name. Julius Yuichi Hoshina Jordan. Long, huh? Lol

stephany said...

saw your post on instagram!
we thought long and hard about names. we had a boy name picked out and a girl name picked out before our 1st was born. we did not know the sex...and when HE was born we used the boy name. with our second we agreed that we would still use the girl name if she was a girl...we decided to find out the sex ahead of time...a GIRL. so, we used our girl name.
it just worked out for us and I love both of their names.
and, we're done having kids, so no more name games for us...except for new dogs.

Sara @ Seeing Purple Stars said...

so sweet. loved reading this. you are so gorgeous by the way. :)
we picked our boys names out while i was still pregnant. the names i picked each time felt right. even after they were born they felt right. such a nice feeling. :)

Courtney Kirkland said...

We had an entirely different name picked out for Noah and changed our minds about 2 months before he was born. But we kept it on the back burner. When he was born, we knew that "Noah" was his name. It just felt right. The other would have never worked. :) 

Adedrickson said...

We can't name our babies beforehand since we wait to find out the gender, but I agree with you. Last time, we had 2 names for each gender that we liked. I am sure there could have been more, but we didn't like that many lol. Coming up with 2 was hard! Once Dawson was born, we just knew that would be his name. This time, we have talked alot about names already! Such a different experience. We also want something strong and bold, but not common. It's hard. We definitely have a few favorites. We'll see how long they stay that way!

mandy at asortafairytale said...

He he.... my husband and I don't see eye to eye on names either. That might be what holds us back from picking a name ahead of time. But in the end, I am confident that the name we choose will be just right!!

mandy at asortafairytale said...

I love the name Jack, too!! Good choice :)

mandy at asortafairytale said...

Love the name Landon. And we also choose the middle names based on my hubby's side of the family. I love keeping family names involved!

mandy at asortafairytale said...

Our middle names are family names, too. I think that's an awesome way to do it!! Why are boys names so much harder? lol

mandy at asortafairytale said...

Thanks!! I got my shirt online from a company called Downeast Basics!

mandy at asortafairytale said...

Oooh Simon is a good one!! It was my hubby's fav name last time. I didn't know that you could wait that long to name your baby, but that's good to know!! I don't feel as much pressure now :)

mandy at asortafairytale said...

Thank you Ashlee! And good for you for already having the name picked! I always think I have names picked but then I'm so indecisive. Ha ha

mandy at asortafairytale said...

Lots of little Landons... such a sweet name. I also love A Walk to Remember!! Makes me cry every time. And Brigham... awesome name! Seriously.

mandy at asortafairytale said...

Yah it's funny how kids just kind of grow into their names naturally. Oh and BTW, Jonah is an awesome name.

mandy at asortafairytale said...

We don't usually focus too much on names until we know the gender, either. I have met a little girl named Ryan before (but with one N). Love it!

Michaela said...

Love this post. I love names! Is it bad that I already have baby names I have my heart set on written down?! Hehe...I know when I actually have kids they'll probably have changed!   I adore Bennett's name and think it fits him completely (even though I've never met him!) I can't wait to see what you're naming baby boy #2 !

mandy at asortafairytale said...

Thanks Kaley! I just recently started putting my hair up like that... such an easy way to get it out of my face! I know lots of people that choose names before they're born and I think it's great! It helps you connect with them a little more I bet! Rhys is such a great name... I threw it out there but my hubby slammed it down. It's crazy, that name is awesome!

mandy at asortafairytale said...

I do know lots of little Hudsons, and they're all adorable! Names get popular for a reason :)

mandy at asortafairytale said...

So great that there is so much meaning behind your name choices! I think it's important!

mandy at asortafairytale said...

He he... I wish a little that I was more decisive so naming our babies were easier. But... at the end of the day I am glad that we wait cause it is a fun experience!

mandy at asortafairytale said...

Charlie would make a pretty cute baby name! You can have 2 charlie's in the family, right? :)

mandy at asortafairytale said...

Wow!! What an easy experience. How cool!! I'm sure their names are perfect for them!

mandy at asortafairytale said...

Thanks Sara! It is definitely a good feeling when you 'just know'.

mandy at asortafairytale said...

And Noah is the perfect name for your little man!

mandy at asortafairytale said...

I had my names picked out before I was even married too. And then when I got married, the names changed. Then when I got pregnant, the names changed again. I am so indecisive. Ha ha.

waterlooheather said...

I'm with you. I think deciding on boy names is so difficult. It's hard to find a name that's cute as a baby boy but isn't so cutesy when he turns out to be a burly 6'4" man! haha!


We could only agree on one boy name (Harrison) so we knew that was going to be it, but when they handed him to me and asked us his name I changed his middle name and my husband just agreed. What was he going to say?! I just delivered a baby. :)

I love the name Bennett. Good luck deciding. 

MamaMandolin said...

We picked out 3 girl names (Aila, Mya, and Miriam) and 3 boy names (Julian, Sidney and Isaiah) before we found out the sexes of the boys. Once we found out they were boys, we were set on Sidney and Isaiah for the longest time. I think it helps you bond with them when you have a name for them. Sidney is my husband's middle name and I really like it, but the more I thought about it I didn't like the nickname Sid. And there are a lot of girl Sidneys. So at the last minute we found Julian and both liked it.

I even picked which baby was which in my belly. And when they were born, the name just fit both boys. I think if you get a name in your head long enough it'll just make sense when you see the baby. 

Also, we decided on first names that were ones that we liked, not passed down, original. And because the boys are inter-cultural (my husband is first generation Nigerian) we wanted to include a Nigerian middle name. We decided to give the boys two middle names. The first is the Nigerian name (which his parents helped us pick out) and the 2nd middle name is the middle name of our brothers, the 2nd born in our family. 

Julian Tochi James and Isaiah Chidi Hamilton. And wouldn't change those names for the world! 

Although I'd really like a girl so I can use up one of those girly names lol.

Alissa said...

Michael and Alena's situation was a unique one, but I didn't think we would pick a name before they were born. We had a list started, as you know, but when they were born none of the names we were leaning toward seemed right. I think waiting can be a good thing, not that you can't change your mind last minute, but I think once you havd been calling a baby by a name for a while the name sticks.

Jessica Diamond said...

We had the name Landon picked out way before we found out the sex. Well, I had the name picked out long before we even got pregnant. I've always loved that name. You don't hear it that often. I just knew that if I ever had a boy then that would be his name. His middle name, Scott, didn't come to us until it got a little closer to finding out the sex. I couldn't think of anything that went well with Landon. Bryan just came up with Scott out of the blue and I just fell in love. Landon Scott just fits hims so perfectly.

mandy @ asortafairytale said...

Oh yes, lots of little Landon's out there! It's a cute name!

Manda Dieter said...

I'm only 6 weeks and we feel we have a name for a girl and a boy.  We had these names picked out over a year ago or so when we first started trying. 

Through the years we discussed about names and we normally agreed on them we just changed them.

And until the end they might change. But who knows. 

I would like something that is not popular around here but would not go as far as naming my child after a fruit or vegetable :)

Kathleen Hall Gee said...

We had started talking about a name for our first child what we thought would be multiple years before we would even start trying (ended up only being about 6 months before we got pregnant...oops.) But we had picked out a family name that would work for a boy or a girl. When we found out we were pregnant we still went through a bunch of names but kept coming back to the same one. 

I was originally in your boat, wanting to wait until her birthday. But like I said we kept coming back to this family name. Addison has now become kind of a popular name, BUT it holds special meaning for us. I do wish we had kept it to ourselves longer....you know, mother-in-law nose crinkles, etc. 

I don't know what we'll do next time! That should be a little on down the road, but if I know us at all....

anyway, best wishes for your last trimester! Your self-portraits are beautiful.

Carolyn said...

We've kept all 3 of our kids name a secret until they were born.  My husband and I both pick out a few names that we like and just narrow it down from there. We've always chose the name before their born except with my son.  We had a few names picked out but didn't name him until he saw him for the first time.  With my girls, I already knew what I wanted their names to about a month or two before they were born.  I love the idea of waiting to decide on what name to go with until you actually see them.  For what it's worth, I love your Son's name and i'm sure you and your hubby will decide on another beautiful name to go along with Bennett. 

Love the photos, you look gorgeous! and WOW 3rd Trimester already???

LaVonne @Long Wait said...

Mandy, we named our daughter 4 years before she was born. :) We loved the name Isabella (and this was before the name got popular with Twilight) and knew we wanted it. Now I am 22 weeks pregnant and going to find out the gender on Monday. I want a boy but don't yet have a name picked out :)

I love those pregnant pics. Very nice!

Em S. said...

My husband and I are there right now. We've been playing around with a couple of different names, but I can't name the baby until I see him, to know what will fit, and am hoping right then and there it will hit me like a lightening bolt. And, the first time around I delivered early, so in now way were we prepared. However, if we ever have a girl, I already know what her name would be!

Kiara Buechler said...

I can't wait to meet little Remington!

Mindi said...

We picked out both our boy's names before they were born but didn't share them with anyone.  I just think everything is so known these days that it's nice to keep one thing a secret.  With my first son we picked out Alexander for his full name but wasn't quite sure if we were going to call him Alex or Xander. After spending a few days with him we decided on Xander.  Now I can't even imagine calling him Alex.  I love thinking about what we will name #3 when it eventually happens.  Names are so much fun. But can be hard to pick for sure. 

Jennisa Mangold said...

Hi there! My name is Jennisa, and I came across your blog page on Facebook :) I'm currently 37 weeks pregnant with my second little girl, and naming her has been much harder than naming our 3 year old was! With Clara, we had a boy name and a girl name picked out way before we knew what we were having, but we kept it a secret until she was born! Well, this little lady is still nameless! We are pretty excited to name her when we see her! We're not telling people the names that we like, because we don't like criticism or the "Oh, my friend's great Aunt's daughter has that name!" comments. :)

amy@agoodlife said...

you know my thoughts on this... i'm with you!  can't wait to hear what you guys decide on :)

Sarah Halstead said...

We have named both the boys in the third trimester. With Carsyn we didn't tell anyone in case we changed our mind but Dustyn was pretty set. 

Brianna Carlisle said...

Yay!  I love this topic!  I could talk about baby names all day.  We have a boy and a girl.  We named them both before they were born although we did not share the names with ANYONE, not even our best friends or parents.  It was truly a secret that my husband and I kept until we were able to tell our baby face to face what their name was!  They were the first one to know.  :)   And I totally agree with you about not wanting a totally un-heard of name but also not wanting a trendy one.  Our daughter is Ashley Faith.  And it fits her PERFECTLY!  I know that name has often been in the "most popular list" but thankfully we don't know any other little girls with her name so it just worked perfectly for us.  Our son's name is Dillon Renato.  It has been trendy at times but we chose to spell it slightly different than the norm.  His middle name is a cherished family name and it means "reborn" in italian.   Best wishes picking your name...it's such a monumental decision!!!  

Michelle Parrott said...

awe - how sweet! i always hoped i could wait but for me i just HAVE to have a name. lol. i think it helps me with the bonding. who knows. but i have loads of friends who have not chosen until they see baby and i can't help but think what a special moment between you three :) i can't wait to see that little one!

Kara @ Just1Step said...

Dave had Krew's name picked out before we were even dating. :)  Krewson is Dave's mother's maiden name and he'd always wanted to use it as the first name for a son.  I was a little weirded out by it at first, but slowly grew to like it, so that was Krew's name the minute we found out he was a boy. :)

With this next baby, we have a few names picked out but nothing certain.  Dave wants to wait until we find out the gender in 4 weeks before having any serious discussion.  I can't wait.

By the way, love the nickname Fitz. :)

mandy @ asortafairytale said...

 That's a cool way to choose a name!! I always loved Krew's name :)

mandy @ asortafairytale said...

 I can certainly see how choosing a name ahead of time would help with bonding!! I think that's awesome!

mandy @ asortafairytale said...

 I like to keep the names we're considering a secret, too!! Definitely adds a little mystery and surprise to the delivery/birth!! :)

Andie Zimmerman said...

Thank you!  Yay for family names!  I think that's great.

zeeno said...

When I was younger, I always thought as soon as the baby is born you had to name it. RIGHT THERE lol (kinda like how I thought when you get married they changed your last name for you, for free). Hubby and I decided that when we have kids, we don't want to know the sex. I want it to be a surprise! But I will have a small mental list of names that I like just to feel prepared :)

http://theninoctober.com