27 April 2012

Bennett lately.



Things have been a little overwhelming since Easton has arrived.

Bennett, he's having a hard time adjusting. It's definitely not a surprise, he's been my one and only child for 2 years now. And then all of the sudden Easton comes home and is taking up lots of precious "mommy & bennnett" time. Of course, I try to be sure that I carve out time during the days to spend especially with Bennett... but at this point, it's just not enough. Unfortunately, it will have to be enough until we get into the swing of things around here.


As far as the baby, Bennett is doing okay with how he's treating him. He is interested in him, and tries to "help".... which I love and encourage. But every once in a while he'll get really rough with him. We try to be very patient and explain to him that baby Easton is teeny tiny and we need to be "soft and gentle." But you can tell that clearly, Bennett is jealous. Though, I understand why he'd feel that way, I really do. But it's super hard to keep my cool when Bennett comes up and hits the baby. Thankfully, this has only happened twice. And both times it was because I was nursing Easton and couldn't meet Bennett's demands right when he wanted me to. (I can see this being an ongoing issue).

Of course, Bennett is still his silly self and making me laugh and smile just as much. But in general, the baby coming home has hit Bennett hard. The first few weeks were really tough on him. He threw more tantrums that I care to even talk about. His mood was so up & down and I could hardly get him to listen to anything I said. It was really frustrating!!...but not because I couldn't handle it - but because I know where it's coming from. I know that he's acting this way because the entire dynamic of our family has changed and he doesn't understand it. I get frustrated because I want to be able to make things better for him but I can't. I just have to try to be patient and let him know how much I love him.


Luckily, this last week or so, I have noticed a little bit of a shift in Bennett's behavior. I think it's starting to sink in for him that Easton is here to stay and he's kind of accepted that. I'm pretty sure it will be a little while longer until things feel totally "normal" for Bennett-- but I can feel that we're getting there... slowly. I'm still kind of scared to go out with both of the kids by myself. I mean, we go out on walks in the double stroller (more on this later, I love my new stroller). But going to the store is out of the question right now. Ha ha.

Anyway, I'm proud of Bennett for managing to snap out of the "worst of it" fairly quickly and hoping he'll continue to settle in. We'll develop a new routine that includes the baby, and I'm confident he'll adjust. It just takes time-- that's what I keep telling myself.

10 comments:

Shondra Walker said...

It gets better, I promise! We had some of the same situations when we brought Lance home.  As Easton gets bigger and begins to smile and interact with Bennet, I'm sure it'll get easier.  At least it did with my boys.  Lance is 9 months old now and can hold his own with Nate now. :)  

Kelsey Zander said...

I know it's tough at first. My boys are 22 months apart. Braedon was the first to make Eli laugh out loud. Now, 4 years later, they are BEST friends. Brothers are AWESOME. Bennett will thank you later. ;)

Sarah Rolf said...

My boys are two years and two days apart. Things at first are very tough, like you said with B. It does get better and easier in time. Nothing is more frustrating that your older son hitting your younger son, I know that! It's tough. Something that worked for us when I was nursing my little one was to have a new little toy (Hotwheels, plastic dinosaur, etc.) to give to older brother so keep his mind of my only being able to sit and nurse.  

Courtney B said...

Bennett is still precious as EVER! I really hope everyday gets easier for him (and you) as you guys are working on this transition! You family is PRECIOUS, Mandy!

Meghan said...

One thing I try to remember to help me feel better about the jealousy is that my oldest won't really remember being an only child. He'll just always remember his little brother being there. I'm sure things will just get easier and easier, especially once Bennett can actually play with Easton. 
Really cute pictures by the way!

Tiffany said...

It does get easier! Promise! I'm not that far ahead of you with my two boys ;)

allieinsavannah said...

I was wondering! Henry is going to full out FLIP when we have another one. I'm already scared! 

Amanda M. said...

I agree with everyone ~ it DOES get easier as time goes on. Hang in there Mama! You're doing a great job :)

Kiara Buechler said...

That last photo is just the sweetest, B is so dang cute!

amy@agoodlife said...

eeep, i'm so scared for two.  how are you dealing with not going to stores?  that loss of independence is one of the things that scares me the most... the feeling that i'll feel trapped in my own home.  luckily, as i know we keep telling ourselves, it's temporary. they will grow up & it will get easier.  just stay strong mama!!  xo