I am really not sure where I am going to go with this post, other than that I know it's going to be just about Bennett.
Life with two small kids is tough, actually, that's an understatement. It's really really tough. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed. I feel like I can't do it all.
But the thing is, the love I have for my children somehow makes everything OK.
What I was feeling when I sat down at the computer is gratitude. I'm grateful for Bennett. He is my first born. I love BOTH of my children equally. But Bennett is the one that made me a Mother, and for that, he will always have this extra special place in my heart. I know that Easton will have a different special place. But Bennett, he will forever be my first born. There is no other that can fill that space.
Every single time I look at him, I am reminded of the absolute shift in my perspective the minute he was born. He's the one that has taught me to love unconditionally. He is the one that made me into a protective mama bear. He's the one that has shown me how I want to Mother my children. Bennett is the one that made me realize that in order to be a good parent, I need to be less selfish, and more giving.
My mind is always be thinking of ways I can be a better person, so that in turn, my children will grow up with a righteous example. Everything that I do is for my kids. And all of the decisions I make, are with the intention of providing the best possible home for my sweet boys. Of course, I do things for me from time to time. But real happiness, for me, comes from the fulfillment I get watching my kids thrive. Every little smile, every giggle, and yes, every tantrum... makes life that much sweeter.
Today, I'm grateful for the smiles & giggles that I get from Bennett.