06 August 2012

"it gets easier, i promise"

Back in February, when I was still pregnant with Easton, I had a whole buncha concerns about having two kids and sharing my time. How would Bennett adapt as a big brother? How would my husband adapt? How much would my life change with two kids? Well, as a result of that post, I had some pretty amazing feedback from my awesome readers. The theme of the comments I received was "don't worry, you will figure it all out and life with 2 kids will become your new normal" and "you will adapt, it get's easier, I promise!"

I swear that from the time I got home with my new baby, up until only about a month ago - I was going to write a response post all about how y'all were talking crazy, cause things were NOT easier, even after 3 months. There were times that I felt like my head was going to explode. I mean - a 2 y/o, a tiny baby and trying to run my business is all a little bit overwhelming sometimes.

But.

I'm here to say that now that Easton is 4 months and Bennett has realized he's here to stay - things have gotten easier. I'm not sure when EXACTLY it happened, but we've settled in to a new routine and life with two kids is definitely "normal" now. Bennett loves his little brother and doesn't seem to have any resentment toward him at all (anymore!). He is so so sweet with him, it just melts my heart.

I'm not trying to say that it's all smelling like roses all of the time, life is definitely busier and sometimes I still wanna poke my eyeballs out (okay that's dramatic). But through all of it... yes, it is easier than it was when I first got home with my itty bitty and felt like life as I knew it was completely OVER.

I don't have all the answers and sometimes I feel like I'm still a bit in over my head, but for the mama's out there with one kid, and expecting their 2nd, your concerns are VALID!!! It's completely normal to feel like you're not sure how you're going to share your time or adapt with the new baby. It's a natural thing to wonder if your oldest will resent the baby, or resent you as their Mother. I was so scared of that. Believe me, those are all normal thoughts and yes it's completely hard, but you will get through it.

And for the new moms of 2 littles just struggling to get through all of the toddler tantrums, middle of the night nursing sessions, and complete and utter exhaustion- IT DOES GET EASIER!... I promise! After a few short months, you will hardly remember what life was like with just one!! And? You will have moments like these ones, to get you through the bad days. :)


38 comments:

jcan404709 said...

oh gracious. love this post! thanks so much for sharing. i'm like most moms with one child.....thinking of having another one overwhelms me. just the thought of it. especially when i'm in a rush and things "what if I had another child to tend to, i'm already stressed with one!" ha. love hearing it gets better. in fact, i'm often told that having 2 babies is easier than just one. fingers crossed that's true for me. :)


www.jenandjercook.blogspot.com

Sarah Halstead said...

Awww I love that bottom photo. Great post. It does get easier but it is hard!!

Summer said...

Awe glad to hear this!!!!! I'm VERY glad to hear this actually!! Thanks for this post!!

lindsay said...

love those pics! B is your little mini me and E is your hubby's mini him! thank you for putting this out there because i am due with my second boy in october and my first boy will be turning 18 months. i'm scared to all high hell and it's hard to grasp how much dysfunction my life will be for the first 6 months or so. i'm excited to complete my family, but so freaked at the same time. thanks for the reminder that it will pass and get better :)

mandy @a sorta fairytale said...

Really?? I've always heard that Bennett looks like my hubby and Easton looks like me!! Well, I'm happy to hear that you think it's the opposite, because that means that they are a good combination of both! And yes, life is a little chaotic when you add a 2nd child to the mix but it's SO worth it!

mandy @a sorta fairytale said...

Thanks Sarah!

livingonlove said...

You are so right! I have a 21 month old and a 4 month old and life is crazy. But, it's much easier. I keep calling it our new normal. :) Love to you!

Kiara Buechler said...

Such a relief that things are getting easier! I think four months is pretty good for B to get adjusted to being a big brother. I love you and your sweet little family!

Amy Nielson said...

so glad you wrote this post just for me! I remember Parker being 4 months old & thinking, "wow, he finally brings more to this family than I feel he requires..." haha, ya know? it was like he was finally a member of our little family rather than draining it. So this time around I'm trying to convince myself I just need to get through the first 4-6 months & everything will be ok. I'm so glad to hear it's getting better for you!!

meaganbriggs3 said...

Thanks for this because I am about 9 weeks away from having #2 and I AM STRESSED. My husband reminds me that when I have to chase 2 around, I WON'T be pregnant (thank goodness!) my energy will come back. My body will shrink down. and I will start to feel more like myself.


This was a great pump up!

mandy @a sorta fairytale said...

9 weeks!! Almost there!! And yes, it's so hard to imagine life with two when you're pregnant because you ARE PREGNANT and feeling so tired and heavy and icky. But once that baby is out, and your body recovers physically... it's not as bad ;-) PLUS, you have a squishy baby to hold and cuddle!

mandy @a sorta fairytale said...

It was JUST for you Amy! Can't believe you will be popping our your boy #2 in probably just a few more days!!! YAY!

mandy @a sorta fairytale said...

Thank you sweetie!! You are the best and my family is so lucky to have the Buechler family in our lives!

mandy @a sorta fairytale said...

Crazy pretty much sums up the life of a Mom with 2 little kids! We deserve medals :)

Mandey Ejiasi said...

With the boys, I don't think it ever got easier, I think it just got different. Each new stage has a whole different set of challenges and rewards. I feel like parenting more than one kid is never easy!

mandy @a sorta fairytale said...

You are right about it never being easy!!! It's always challenging. But it has definitely gotten better for me. And thank goodness for that!

Sarah said...

Wow, Thank you for this post! I am 15 weeks with baby #2, and this is such sweet encouragement! My little (well big) boy and his brother or sister will be 23 months apart! I have been loving your blog, reading about you and your boys, I feel like you are a friend who is one step ahead! Thank you Mandy! PS your boys are soo cute!

That Mama Gretchen said...

Thanks so much for sharing this post! I'm days away from #2 and definitely still worried about juggling two little ones :)

Love, Chelsea said...

I'll take your word for it ;)

thissislove said...

Perfect post! So true. I have a 3 y/o and a 7m/o and i just now feel like "i got this two kid thing" down pat. Your kids are adorable.

Lauren Alberts said...

oh I just loved this- took the words right out of my mouth! though at 7 months postpartum I still want to poke my eyes out sometimes ;) totally perfect though! you are awesome.

Lauren Alberts said...

how did you 2 get linked up?! funny! small world!

mandy @a sorta fairytale said...

Thanks lady!! We can (sometimes) poke our eyes out together!! lol

mandy @a sorta fairytale said...

Thank you!! And yeah, isn't it a freeing feeling to feel like "oh man, i think i finally got this!"!! It take some time but once you settle down into a routine, it's so much easier than you first anticipate!

mandy @a sorta fairytale said...

Oh my goodness you are so close!!

mandy @a sorta fairytale said...

Thanks so much Sarah!! I'm so happy to hear that you are getting a little bit of encouragement from my posts. I know that reading other blogs helps me tremendously! Do you have a blog I can hop over to?

Melissa Meyer said...

Couldn't have read this post on a better day - I have a 2y/o and a 6wk old which gets pretty tricky! Thanks for encouraging us that it will start to get better =D

Courtney K said...

I love this post. :) I'm expecting an adjustment period and weeks of showing out and attention seeking from Noah. But...knowing that it does get easier? That's a huge relief. I feel like you wrote this just for me today. because this has CERTAINLY been on my mind.

mandy @a sorta fairytale said...

Oh I'm so glad that this helped you today!!

mandy @a sorta fairytale said...

I did write this just for you today! :) But seriously, things were overwhelming for me at first and I was so relieved when people kept telling me things would get easier. There were times I didn't believe it - but here I am... realizing that things just flow better than they did at first! That's such a huge weight lifted from my shoulders. Hallelujah!

MrsEyeCanSee said...

Most days I feel overwhelmed with just one! I can't even begin to wrap my head around the idea of another, so I can only imagine the adjustment. Glad you're finally finding your groove as a mom of 2!

Amy Wheaton said...

Your boys are gorgeous. I'm glad things are settling down for you too. If we ever decide to go for a second kiddo, I'll try to remember things won't be crazy forever!

Meagan S said...

Oh mama I could have written this post when my baby was 4 months! It seems to be the magical moment when moms realized that this is the new normal and we're all going to survive! :) I'm so happy you're there now!

skye said...

It makes total sense. We are hoping for a 2nd one soon ... HOPING... but this is good to know - as I have the same concerns you did. I would think when you have your first baby, the concerns and fears are totally different than when you have one already to a second baby. Totally different ball game in all ways.

SimplyStavish said...

Sweet photos and so glad to hear it's getting easier. Life seemed to get easier for me with two around 6 months or so. Then it got harder and now it's back on the upswing. Once we got over the hurdle of potty training things got MUCH better. I'm no way looking forward to potty training #2. Good thing he has quite a long way to go before that comes around.

Amber said...

Thanks girl! I'll admit I am in freak out mode. I am so concerned about how much I will miss spending one on one time with Bennett.

Jessi said...

Thanks for this post! We're going to start trying again for #2 soon and being home with a toddler and a newborn just seems crazy. Glad to know it's doable!

bethanygp said...

Hi! I just started following you thanks to AP from ILYMTC. This is the first post of yours that I read, and girl. . . .I'm going through the exact same thing right now! I have a 2 year old son and a 3-month old son and since the younger one still isn't sleeping through the night, it hasn't gotten easier. Yet. But I know things will be better in a few months and I just have to make it through until then. Thanks so much for encouraging mamas who are not as far along the "2 kids" road as you. Your sons are adorable! I'm so glad I'm reading your blog now. :)