20 August 2013

Dang potty.

Allow me to vent for a minute. K?

I always thought I'd be the Mom who had the whole potty learning thing under control. But clearly, I didn't realize how in-over-my-head I would be with my stubborn Three Year Old. So.... here we are. Bennett is 3 1/2 and still. not. potty. trained. But trust me, it's not because of lack of trying.

I'm not over-exaggerating when I tell you that my child is the most stubborn kid you'll ever meet. We have tried the 3-day method. We've tried just taking him to the potty sporadically, we have attempted to work "potty time" into his daily routines... you know... the whole slow & steady wins the race thing. We've tried potty videos, songs and books. We've tried bribery and coercion. And the promise of over-the-top rewards and praise?... not phased in the slightest. Oh and he couldn't care less about stickers. Did I cover all of my bases here?

After our first failed attempt at potty training, I told myself I would just relax and let him decide when he's ready. But 6 months later -- I'm getting impatient. I don't know. I mean, the good news is that he's not afraid of the potty, and he will go pee and poo if we take him. But he won't alert us beforehand, at all. So what good is it?

So I guess I'm at a total loss.

People keep telling me that "well he won't be in diapers forever" and "boys take longer". Deep down, I know those are true statements, but I'll tell you what, that isn't very comforting when it's been 16 months with TWO kids in diapers. At this point, I'm so ready to be done with this stage.

I'm not really looking for advise because I think I've already received every bit of advise that people could possibly give. I think I'm just looking for people to commiserate with. Anyone else have a late potty trainer??

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27 comments:

Stephanie said...

My sister is having trouble potty training my nephew. He will sit on the little potty and then get up and go potty in his diaper five min later. He's 2 1/2 right now.

Sarah [NurseLovesFarmer.com] said...

Hey girl...I had a huge comment typed out, but I deleted it cuz I know you're not looking for advice! We do have a #pottytrainingchat tonight and every Tuesday night 9pm EST on Twitter if you want to talk, lots of ladies that show up have later potty trainers.

Natalie said...

My oldest was over 3 before he was completely potty trained. The only thing that worked was going cold turkey with the diapers and only using underwear. It got to the point where I was ready to give up and be prepared to send him to college with a pull up. And then he surprised me with FINALLY getting it.

melissa rohr said...

this may sound harsh, but in the end with rowan, it had to be tough love. once we did that she was potty learned in two days. i mean, she would be forced to sit on the potty many times through out the day screaming her head off and all. parenting isn't always pretty - sometimes you have to be the bad guy :/

melissa rohr said...

annnnd, stella who has been potty trained since 26 months? the day we came home from the hospital with rowan decided she isn't night trained anymore - that has been super frustrating to go backwards :/

what about starting super early with east and seeing if Bennett wants to cause he is?

Meghan said...

Q is 3 & 1/2 also, and only partially potty trained. It's super frustrating. The possible silver lining though? Archer (20 mos old) is already interested in going on the potty, and has done it a couple of times. So my HOPE is he will be a little eaiser and a little sooner. Hope it gets easier!

Anonymous said...

I agree that you just have to take the diaper off and put on the big kid underwear! There will be messes but they will get it much faster.

Amanda said...

Mandy...i too had a late potty trainer. My son was a little over 3 years old when he decided he was ready. We had also tried everything, then one day he just decided he would go to the potty and that was it! On a side note, he is now almost 4 1/2 and still has to wear night time pullups or we would be changing the sheets 3 times a night. So frustrating!!!! I hope once Bennett is potty trained he is COMPLETELY potty trained! Keep your head up it will happen!

andrea said...

i hear ya on this one. my oldest was nearly impossible to potty train. everyone says girls are easier, but not mine!!! we had a very similar experience to yours, and we finally got her potty trained right around 3 1/2. it was a ROUGH go. but i am happy to report, that she is almost 6 1/2, and doesn't wear diapers lol! hang in there. i can completely relate to how frustrating it can be.

Adventures with Little man said...

Add me to the failed potty training list. We have the same problem where he will not alert us NO MATTER WHAT. It's so frustrating.

Diana Megan said...

I feel your pain. My little guy is the same age and he's partially potty trained - he'll pee in the potty, but is TERRIFIED of pooping in the potty! It's getting pretty difficult - every attempt becomes a full out tantrum. I hope it gets easier for the both of us! :P

Krista said...

My friend's son is 3 and she's have a super hard time with him too. He sounds just like your son. Hang in there!!

Shannau said...

ALL my girls were late potty trainers! My oldest- my son, was trained before he turned 3 and he was easy peasy. Oldest girl was potty trained soon after 3, but wore pull ups at night until she was 5. Middle girl was potty trained right before she turned 4. And now my youngest will be 5 next month- still having trouble with her because she has a hard time knowing whether or not she has a bowel movement or needs to poop. BUT she does well with peeing in the toilet. May have a colon problem :/

fifth house on the left | family blog said...

i swear that my rawley and your bennett are the same boys, but bennet is one year older. rawley is SO stubborn. he's 2 1/2 and still not talking and nowhere close to being potty trained. UGH! it's going to be a long road ahead.

Lindsay Okruch said...

My sister's son is not even two and she just posted about how he has gone on the potty all day. If she were here I'd pretend to be happy for her, but really that makes me barf in my mouth since my nearly 3 year old GIRL absolutely REFUSES to have ANYTHING to do with the potty whatsoever. If I were to offer her a GALLON of icecream and a years supply of candy she would STILL refuse. We've tried EV-ERY-THING and the most she's given us is one nasty fart. I SWEAR her one year old sister will use the potty before she does. It makes me crazy because I KNOW she can do it. I KNOW she knows what to do, SHE PEES ON THE FLOOR JUST FINE, it's just a matter of when SHE wants to do it. Whenever THAT will be... I'm not angry about this or anything.

Jamie said...

I know you don't want advice... but I have to throw it out there! Have you tried just naked time? My son was really aware of the need to go as long as he was naked. We worked on that until he had it down at home, then added in underwear at home, then underwear out and about... etc. Until he was basically just going when he needed to! Of course there were accidents, but he was SO aware of the need to go that he could tell us when he was naked. That helped us a lot!

That said, my youngest is not at all interested yet and I think he's going to be a whole other challenge, so who knows what will work? You're a good momma to trust his instincts on things :)

Mandey Ejiasi said...

The dudes are both still crapping their pants. ALL THE TIME. Even Julian, who is pretty much 100% potty trained, even at night, but not poop. Nope! They will both shit their pants until they're 18 I'm convinced.

Dara @ Not In Jersey said...

I'm with you. my first boy is now 6 and was fully trained at 3 years 10 months. my second boy just turned 3 and I don't know how I'm ever going to train him.

Bebe428 said...

My Sophia is 3 and has been trying for a year now, but like your little guy is beyond stubborn! We have promised the world and some, did the reward system - nothing works. She yells "I don't WANNA use the potty" and two seconds later pees in her diaper. Super frustrating - I feel your pain.

Carly said...

My niece refused. When she was Bennett's age she would lay on the ground with her hands behind her head while you changed her, she just seemed to like it better that way. First day of preschool, she came home potty trained. Crazy, but I guess it was a bright side of peer pressure? Anyway, reading through the comments and remembering my niece, at least you know you aren't alone!

Tiffany Franklin said...

My son didn't start to potty train until 3. It wasn't easy at all. I literally had to take him to the bathroom every 30 minutes for weeks then slowly move it up to an hour. It probably took two months to get to where I could put him in undies during the day and only have a couple of accidents and to where he would actually tell me he had to go. I literally had to take him or have him sit on his potty chair when he watched tv or played. He finally got the peeing down in about 2.5-3 months but it took another month and me sitting him on the potty when I knew he was going to go in his pants and not let him get up until he was done. I felt bad at first but after that he always went on the potty and only had a few accidents until he was good to go. He was probably 3 years and 3 months by then. My daughter was even worse. She didn't even attempt to go until after three and then I put it off because I had my last child. About two months after he was born, when she was 3 years and 5 months she finally got potty trained in one day staying the night at my sil. It took bribery but she was ready when she was ready all in one day unlike my son but it did take her longer to want to be there. All I can tell you is have patience or take a few days or weeks to stay at home if you can and just take him as often as you can and when you feel confident stick him in undies all day until he gets it down pat. I read the best time to potty train is 3 or after and lots of kids aren't even fully trained until 4 years old. I wouldn't worry at all. Every child is different and when another kid comes along it's even harder so I don't judge at all. Sorry for the long post but I definitely understand where you are and dread potty training my son. Also family wants to dig in and tell you they should be potty trained or this or that. Just go with your own method and at his pace and it will happen, I promise :)!

Tiffany Franklin said...

This cracked me up. I've been there and it's not funny at the moment but you will look back and laugh. When you're not cleaning poop anymore ;)!

Stephanie @ The Good Stuff said...

Oh. mai. gah. I'm so there! I can totally relate. Like, literally, I could have written this post word-for-word. I kind of have written this post word-for-word. My son is 3 1/2 and stubborn as all get out. If I thought just waiting until it was his idea was the right way I go I would totally do it, but he's so stubborn and so resistant to change that I'm really not convinced that waiting is the right thing for him. I'm just so confused and wish I knew the right way to handle the topic.

Anyway, today is day 6 of our 3rd round of potty training. Surprisingly it's going better than it ever has (don't be fooled, the other times have been terribly horrible failures) so we're going to press on and see what happens. We're all hating every minute of it and we don't know if we're doing the right thing, which makes it even harder, of course. Basically, I have nothing but sympathy for you.

Good luck, I hope things work themselves out soon!

P.S. I've also heard all the truly well-meaning advice that makes you want to scream, and all the anecdotes about kids training themselves because they were ready, etc. and it all makes me want to tear my hair out! So sooo frustrating. The whole topic!

Tabitha said...

Just an idea, does he hangout with any older boys? Maybe that would help, seeing that they use the potty.

Sarah said...

My daughter was 3.5 before she finally wanted to use the potty. She's really stubborn & independent. What finally worked for us is letting her potty train on her own. It worked very well. We let her call the shots & it just finally clicked. Poop was her biggest obstacle, but she got over it. Maybe include Easton & see if that sparks anything in Bennett. Good luck Mama! Potty training is one of the hardest things in parenthood (at least for me!)

pearlsandpixels.com said...

All I can say is that I can sympathize with you! My son will be 3 in December and they have him sit on the potty all the time at daycare. Hubs and I are so busy, we just don't seem to have the patience for potty training, but I know we have to get more hardcore about it. We were able to get him to go pee in the potty the other night by bribing him with a new car and playing with the iPad.

Julie S. said...

Brayden turned 3 last July and when he started at a preschool last year, still wasn't potty trained. ONE WEEK (which was 2 days for him) of school? Totally trained. I am not even kidding. I don't know WHAT it was about school that made him just decide to ditch diapers. It was BEYOND weird. I totally sympathize with you, because I swore he would never be potty trained!