15 August 2013

Hold the friggin' phone.


Oh Hey! Hai. I'm the girl that wrote this post the other day, all about how easy life was with two kids.

But yesterday, I ate my words. I gobbled them up and choked on them. 

It was the kind of afternoon where you just want to lock yourself in a quiet room and ignore everything else that is going on. Sit in the corner and zone out, and try to drown out the whining, screaming and fighting. And if I'm being honest, I may have attempted to do that. Okay I did do that.

Remember how I said when one of them misbehaves, the other is usually an angel, and that is my saving grace in those super tough parenting moments? Yah well that was most certainly not the case yesterday afternoon. As I was sandwiched between a crying One Year Old and Three Year Old that was currently throwing toys around the living room in a fit of rage, I thought to myself: "Wait, where is my angel?? Hold the friggin' phone. I need my angel child riiiiiight now! Either child will do!"

Nope, wasn't happening. The boys decided to team up against me and pull every trick in the book to try my patience. It was one thing after another, after another. I had reached my boiling point and was ready to explode -- figuratively, of course, cause that would be weird if I spontaneously combusted. Sorry, my mind is all over the place right now.

I digress.

As I was sitting downstairs, desperately trying anything and everything to distract them and stop the ear piecing whining, I stood up and announced "I'm going upstairs, I'm shutting the gate behind me, and you two are going to stay down here and play nicely! I need some time alone!!"

I marched up the stairs, walked into the office, closed the door behind me and sat on guest bed. I sat there for probably 3 minutes totally zoned out before I realized that they were completely quiet.

YESSS! They have calmed down, I can go downstairs now. Oh wait. Nope. They're still fighting. 

I moved to the chair at the computer, browsing the interwebs, trying and distract from the chaos that was ensuing downstairs. Thirty seconds later, I hear the pitter patter of little feet coming up the stairs. Nooooo!! I could literally feel steam coming out of my ears, I knew they were coming up to find me. And as my Three Year Old entered the office, I actually said the words: "Go away!" (which I feel very guilty about now, and I'll tell you why...")

He ignored me, of course, walked up right beside the chair, wrapped his little arm around mine, snuggled into me and kissed my shoulder. As I looked down at him with guilty tears in my eyes, he smiled and said "Hi Mommy!" as if all of nonsense that had previously taken place, had never even happened. It reminded me so much of that unprompted tender moment I had with him just the other week. Immediately following Bennett, was Easton (he's always slower getting up the stairs than Bennett). He came bounding into the room as fast as his little legs could carry him, he ran up to his big brother and squeezed him from behind, giggling and laughing. Ah ha. This is the grace that God shows me in those horrible moments.

And I am writing this story because this is reality. And I think all too often, we clog our blogs, instagram feeds, and fanpages with the good stuff and make our lives out to be a lot more stress/carefree than they really are. And especially after I just shared how wonderful life was with two kids, I was reluctant to share this. But there is always a rise & fall, isn't there? That's life.

So after all of this, do I still stand by what I said about how having two kids is easier than one? Yes, I do. Because at the end of the day, my heart is twice as big, and the love I feel in return, is also twice as much. And who doesn't want twice as much love??



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14 comments:

amber.m said...

Try a third kiddo to ;)
Darn kids though, they're so good at making you forget why you were made in moments like that! They're also good at making you wanna pull your hair out! Mom life, huh!? :)

amber.m said...

*too

Krista said...

Thanks for sharing this one. I needed reminding that everyone has a rise & fall and that not all moments are easy, despite Instagram and Facebook's rosy picures... Yesterday my 3 year old daughter was being wild and my husband and I both yelled at her at the exact same time (she was in her carseat screaming her head off). Well, she got scared and started bawling and we both felt horrible that we yelled. There was no reason for it. We could have and should have asked her what was wrong before yelling at her. Turns out it was such an easy fix--she just wanted her sweatshirt off and was frustrated bc she was trying to do it herself. Anywhoooo we both felt horrible when she burst into tears and just kept crying and saying "I'm sorry mommy, I'm sorry daddy". Broke my heart.

Erin said...

This definitely sounds like the reality of life with a toddler. Or two in your case. You're such a good mama example. Glad up shared this bit of life with us this week as well! And hope they're absolute angels today :)

ashley said...

I so needed this post today. There's so many times during the day when my girls are bickering that I try to remind them that they are SISTERS, and that it's such a special bond. I find myself getting annoyed with them so often, and wanting them both to just leave me (and each other!) alone. But then I catch them sharing a special moment, and in that second all the previous fighting & annoyance disappears.

This parenting thing is clever isn't it? <3

Laura Swallow said...

Beautiful post, great reminder that this love makes it all worth it. What a blessing.

Camille said...

They are too cute. :) And I like your blog name... Mine has the same name, lol!

Whenever I am having a moment where I just want to pull my hair out, I try to remember how much I used to fight with my brothers and how patient my mom was with us! I want my kids to remember me like that when they're older.

JenniferAStreet said...

ahhh, i needed this post today I have a 3yo and 2yo, both boys and after reading your post yesterday I was sad that I don't have that angel child thing going on.. Mine like to gang up on me and be crazy together a lot of the time!

Sarah [NurseLovesFarmer.com] said...

They can sure be little turds, hey?! (I'm speaking from my own experience with two boys!) I welled up with tears when you said "go away!" because I *knew* you would feel guilty as soon as you said it....because I have SO been there too! There's times often when I want to yell to my children "just leave me alone!" but (so far) I've been good with going to find a few minutes of quiet time to collect myself or I can distract my big guy with something so I can get down what I need to. Motherhood isn't for the week, thank God for his grace and mercies!

Karly Gomez said...

Ha ha ha I totally hear you! Pretty much any time I say how awesome and well-behaved my kids are, something really crazy happens. Like yesterday for instance, when Laney and Vivi were supposed to be playing in their room, they were actually in the kitchen. Laney broke open a bottle of kids' cold plus medicine and DRANK IT ALL. Vivi was inside of a can of Charli's very special and VERY expensive formula, eating it by the fist-full. Afton was hacking out her lungs while tattling on them, and Charli was screaming, because, well, she's a two-month-old and they scream. After a scary trip to the ER, a bath to wash off the sticky remains of formula, and a steam session for the sick one, things finally calmed down. Sometimes those days just happen and there isn't a damn thing we can do about it except simply flow with it and hope there is a nice shore somewhere nearby to land on.

And besides, if you didn't post something like this, the rest of us would totally know you're a liar, ha ha ha! I love your post, and your honesty. And the humor in there too.

Isn't parenthood grand??

Mandey Ejiasi said...

I tell the boys to "go away" all the time lol Especially when they're fighting, being naughty or just in a general pissy mood. I tell them than when I want them to leave each other alone, to go do a different part of the room or just AWAY from whatever is causing all the conflict/attitude. I guess I never feel guilty about it, sometimes them being away from the situation makes it a little better. OR, they should probably go away from me before I lose it and then actually say something I don't want to. I guess we all just need to step away from each other sometimes and get a breather, even 3 year olds.

Sarah Notes said...

I think it's some kind of cosmic law of the blogging universe--the moment you say something is going good...you're forced to eat your words! Ha!
But thank you so much for sharing your awful day. I so, so, SOOOOO get it!! I have two y/o and a 3 m/o, and I feel so bad because I think I've just been yelling non stop at my toddler all week. I think I've even told him to go away a few times, too :( Bless their hearts, somehow they still manage to love us and feel loved, though some days I don't know how! Thanks for sharing :)

Melissa said...

Oh man thanks for this! its so true that generally speaking, the little guys always want to find you and i dream of a whole day just lying in a bed not touched by anyone and not wiping anyones nose, butt, puke, etc. thanks foe being honest! such a good reminder of normal life and not perfecttown!

Trish Harden said...

Awww. All moms have days like that whether they have 1 or 20. (As I type this my youngest two are fighting over a train) I have found that what works best for us is that when they get me feeling like I might explode, I just look at whichever of the four is driving me crazy and say "I love you." and just keep at it until feeling less explode-y.