Oh Hey! Hai. I'm the girl that wrote this post the other day, all about how easy life was with two kids.
But yesterday, I ate my words. I gobbled them up and choked on them.
It was the kind of afternoon where you just want to lock yourself in a quiet room and ignore everything else that is going on. Sit in the corner and zone out, and try to drown out the whining, screaming and fighting. And if I'm being honest, I may have attempted to do that. Okay I did do that.
Remember how I said when one of them misbehaves, the other is usually an angel, and that is my saving grace in those super tough parenting moments? Yah well that was most certainly not the case yesterday afternoon. As I was sandwiched between a crying One Year Old and Three Year Old that was currently throwing toys around the living room in a fit of rage, I thought to myself: "Wait, where is my angel?? Hold the friggin' phone. I need my angel child riiiiiight now! Either child will do!"
Nope, wasn't happening. The boys decided to team up against me and pull every trick in the book to try my patience. It was one thing after another, after another. I had reached my boiling point and was ready to explode -- figuratively, of course, cause that would be weird if I spontaneously combusted. Sorry, my mind is all over the place right now.
As I was sitting downstairs, desperately trying anything and everything to distract them and stop the ear piecing whining, I stood up and announced "I'm going upstairs, I'm shutting the gate behind me, and you two are going to stay down here and play nicely! I need some time alone!!"
I marched up the stairs, walked into the office, closed the door behind me and sat on guest bed. I sat there for probably 3 minutes totally zoned out before I realized that they were completely quiet.
YESSS! They have calmed down, I can go downstairs now. Oh wait. Nope. They're still fighting.
I moved to the chair at the computer, browsing the interwebs, trying and distract from the chaos that was ensuing downstairs. Thirty seconds later, I hear the pitter patter of little feet coming up the stairs. Nooooo!! I could literally feel steam coming out of my ears, I knew they were coming up to find me. And as my Three Year Old entered the office, I actually said the words: "Go away!" (which I feel very guilty about now, and I'll tell you why...")
He ignored me, of course, walked up right beside the chair, wrapped his little arm around mine, snuggled into me and kissed my shoulder. As I looked down at him with guilty tears in my eyes, he smiled and said "Hi Mommy!" as if all of nonsense that had previously taken place, had never even happened. It reminded me so much of that unprompted tender moment I had with him just the other week. Immediately following Bennett, was Easton (he's always slower getting up the stairs than Bennett). He came bounding into the room as fast as his little legs could carry him, he ran up to his big brother and squeezed him from behind, giggling and laughing. Ah ha. This is the grace that God shows me in those horrible moments.
And I am writing this story because this is reality. And I think all too often, we clog our blogs, instagram feeds, and fanpages with the good stuff and make our lives out to be a lot more stress/carefree than they really are. And especially after I just shared how wonderful life was with two kids, I was reluctant to share this. But there is always a rise & fall, isn't there? That's life.
So after all of this, do I still stand by what I said about how having two kids is easier than one? Yes, I do. Because at the end of the day, my heart is twice as big, and the love I feel in return, is also twice as much. And who doesn't want twice as much love??