27 August 2013

The things I said I would never do.

(this is a day late, whoops!)

We have all been that girl before. You know, the ones that don't have kids and say things like "Oh when I have kids, I will never [blah blah blah]" You know you did that, so don't even try to deny it. Before B & E came along, I had a list with 439 things I "would never do as a Mother". And now? I'm laughing at myself for being so silly and naive. But hey, I give myself a pass because I had no idea what I was in for.

{linking up with Becky for 52 Weeks of Blogging with a Purpose}

So because I like to call myself out on stuff, here's a few of the things I said I'd never do, but definitely do.

I said I would never...
  1. Bribe my kids with candy.
    To my credit, I did refrain from doing this until Bennett was about Three Years Old. That's pretty good right? And although my kid isn't bribed easily, I still try. You do what you gotta do.
  2. Let them jump on the couch.
    If you have met Bennett, you know why this was basically impossible to prevent. He is a spaz with WAY too much energy, I gave up on this really early on, like as soon as he could climb up there.
  3. Play with my phone.
    YAH FREAKING RIGHT. That's all I have to say about this.
  4. Let them be in diapers past 3 years old.
    EPIC FAIL. (re: "Dang Potty") What I didn't understand at the time I said this, was that kids have their own time frame. And some kids? They are more stubborn than should be humanly possible. But you know what? That's okay. I'm learning a valuable lesson: patience.
  5. Let my children watch more than 30 minutes of television a day.
    Let's just be honest here. Sometimes sitting your kids in front of the TV is the only thing that saves your sanity when you need to do take care of your basic human needs. Like I don't know, going to the bathroom, showering, eating lunch, cleaning... etc etc. Screw what I said about not letting them watch TV. TURN ON THE TV FOR CRYING OUT LOUD AND SIT STILL FOR A MINUTE.
  6. Give them soda to drink.
    Okay wait. I am still holding true to this. I do not allow Bennett or Easton to drink soda. But my Husband, however, is guilty of filling their sippy cups with diet root beer or whatever he's drinking. Shame on him. I would have been golden on this one if it weren't for him. lol.
  7. Be caught dead with them running around in public like little crazy people.
    In my defense, I try for the first 20 minutes or so to keep them tamed. But by the end of our outing, if they are acting like lunatics and screaming like banshees, whatever. I will finish our meal or shopping trip or what have you, and if we all get out alive, I call it a win.
  8. Be the Mom who got overly obsessed with my kids.
    Who was I kidding? Clearly, I'm obsessed with my children, as I should be. I mean, these are my people, ya know? My Husband and I MADE them and they were meant for us. They are the two most precious gifts we have ever received and we love them more than anything. So yes, I'm obsessed. Plus? They're dang cute.
  9. Give my child a pacifier.
    Granted, neither of my children took a pacifier as babies. But trust me, I tried. When you're up in the wee hours of the morning with a baby that's fussy and won't go to sleep, you will try anything. I spent months trying to get Bennett to take a pacifier, but to my surprising disappointment, he wasn't interested. So it figures that one day when he was 11 months old, he was wondering around the house and found a paci, put it in his mouth and from then on out, was a binky kid. (But only at bedtime). Whatever. ;-)
  10. Let my kids define who I am.
    This was just straight ignorance when I thought this. My children are my life. Of course, I have passions and hobbies outside of my children, but holy heck. Being a Mother is the most important role I will ever have in my life. And it's absolutely a defining role to play, and I'm happy to call myself a Mama.
This list could go on forever and ever. But these are the things that stand out to me, as things I once said but didn't follow through with at all. And I have no guilt about it whatsoever (except maybe the soda one, because I'm still trying to stick to my guns on this one... but the Husband has other plans!) 

The moral of this entire blog post is that, it's OKAY to do things differently than we plan. And it will always turn out fine. We all have unique circumstances, and differing personalities from our kids, so if I've learned anything as a Mama so far -- it's that sometimes you gotta just play it by ear.

So tell me, what are some things you said you would never do as a Mother?

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Anonymous said...

Good list. I've liked reading others' lists on this topic, too. Ohmygosh, the soda thing. Ethan has never had it, but my SIL gives it to my niece (Ethan's age) ALL. THE. TIME. in a sippy. I'm like...?! Every once & a while, fine, okay, but all the time? I'm totally judging. ;) And the TV thing...let's just say, I'd be HAPPY to not have TV after we move. We have been trapped in this apartment and TV is on constantly. I am so ashamed, but exactly -- it gets us through most days!

Jennifer Bosse said...

I said the same thing about tv and it held true for a long while. Then last winter, everyone came down with a horrendous flu and we clicked one Blues Clues episode. L loved it so much, we let him watch a few each day until we got better. Now, he asks to watch Caillou or Blues Clues or even Oswald as soon as we get up in the morning!! I'm slowly trying to cut back to maybe one show rather than two a day. But you're right, with two little ones, if there isn't something to distract them for a little while, we would never be able to shower or do anything! haha

Madeline Segura said...

I love reading posts like this! It's nice to see that other people are real too. Thanks for sharing. :)

Loyal RUN said...

Pretty much all the same things..

I will never let my child talk back to me that way.
Ha. They don't get away with it but still do it.

Lauren Davison said...

great list! really 30 min of tv? I should start paying my cable company more, just as a thank you. While I don't let E jump on the couch, I am so guilty of talking about him nonstop...and bribes are the best thing EVER!

Summer said...

Yup. All of it.

I also have a draft sitting in my blog about things people have said to be about what they would never allow/do with their children if they had any. Example: I always like when people say "I would NEVER allow my child to be picky with food". Well guess what? No one wants that, it just happens. Trust me.

The Ramblin Rooster {Ashley Mills} said...

I love this - I have so many of these things on my "don't do" list. We'll see how well that goes...ha! :)

Brandi said...

Oh my goodness so much of this list (practically everything) I said at one time or another!!

Valerie Scott said...

I remember saying several of these things and many more before I had a baby. Not allowing TV, no binky, no sleeping with baby...we clearly had no idea what we were in for. TV seriously saves my day most days and I love seeing how super excited he gets when his fav shows come on. Never say NEVER, until you have had a kid, lol! I may have to start a post on this, would be fun to look back on someday.

Anonymous said...

I'm still childless and I love judging my BIL/SIL for their parenting and making mental lists of things I won't let my (future) kids do. My kids will learn please, thank you, and excuse me. (My nephew is 6, he's a good 3 years past planting the manners seed.) Also, my kids will not get special meals, will not eat a huge desert at Nana's house every Sunday (especially if they didn't eat their dinner). And they will not make that nasty, gritted teeth, angry face (I just want to slap that face off of him!)
Best part is, we've been struggling with IF for 3 years, so I may always be the childless judging aunt, and I'm okay with that because it's way easier :)

Gretchen said...

I'm totally with you on the phone and TV thing --- hello it's the 21st century! (And I'm tired!) And sometimes everyone just needs to zone out for a little peace and quiet :)

Rachel said...

I'm not a mom yet, but I grew up with enough little siblings to know that--as much as I believe in education and old-fashioned playtime and all-natural stuff....the tv is awesome for entertaining them when you just need someone else besides you to handle that job for a bit!

Fran said...

I'm not a mom yet but I've made these lists in my head and I already know I'll probably break a few of the items haha

Laura Swallow said...

I said I wouldn't talk to my child in a high pitched voiced or post pictures of her everyday. No on both accounts! She smiles when I talk to her in a high pitched voice and she's too cute to not post daily pictures! :)

keep it sunny said...

Love! I used to justify the things (to myself) I let my little girl do, but now I don't worry! You do what you have to do. :)

Ashlea with an a said...

Jumping on the couch!!! Both my girls just will not stop, it literally drives my husband insane and I'm just waiting until someone gets hurt! Anyway, I love this post and your honesty, I know I've broken my own list of things I would never be caught doing- the Binkie was definetly a no for us especially after our first wouldn't take it, but when your up at night with two babies you digging for the Binkie!

Sarah Notes said...

I'm the oldest of five, so I feel like I had pretty realistic expectations going into kids...EXCEPT about TV. OMG. Handy Manny, Curious George, and Thomas are my achille's heel. I told myself when I was pregnant and sick with a toddler that it would stop when I felt better, and then I promised it would stop when the baby was born, and then I promised it would stop when she got a little older...well, she's four months tomorrow and yesterday my toddler (AND sometimes the baby) watched I DON'T KNOW HOW MANY shows. I mean, he can now almost count to ten in spanish, but still...YIKES.

Anonymous said...

I have days where I resort to what I used to call "Dora Parenting". Then I had child number two, who flat out refuses to watch even 10 minutes of TV. Never thought I'd be the Mama bummed her kid won't watch television! He prefers to spend his time jumping on my couches and launching himself off my coffee table...

Stephanie said...

My son is only 7-months-old and he's already fascinated with my phone. He's always reaching for it and trying to grab it. Although, I'm sure at this point he just wants to eat it instead of Instagramming. Aye!!!

And my husband already knows how firm I am on the no-soda rule. He'll be in BIG trouble if he ever tries to give some to our son! ;)

Cydney Helsdown said...

i really enjoyed this post :) all those things are currently on my list of things never to do but alas, i find myself watching cbeebies with my son all afternoon as well as grabbing my phone off him when it's within his reach and with the pacifier thing? well now he's sucking his thumb so what can a mum do ay?!