(and believe me, I'm not discrediting how hard it must be to be a full time working mom, major kudos to you all!!! but i'm just speaking from my personal situation and perspective)
Because the truth is that even though my Husband is a great Father, and is awesome and supportive, he only spends 3 hours a day (if that) with the kids, Monday-Friday. I'm not here to complain right now (I did enough of that in this post), I'm just stating a fact. And that is: I get the brunt of the whining, the tantrums, the screaming and fighting, and I do the majority of the disciplining. Obviously. And by the end of the day, I'm worn out and kinda feeling like a failure. And then my Husband gets home. And you can bet that not 5 minutes later, he's complaining about the whining and telling the kids to knock it off. And at this point, I don't have much sympathy for him. Not my finer moments, trust me. I'm working on this.
But the thing is, I feel like my Husband couldn't possibly understand how I'm feeling or what I go through on a day to day basis. Even though it's rewarding, let's face it, being a Mother is kind of a thankless job, isn't it? Sometimes I feel under appreciated. Ya know? Being a Mama is greatest challenge I've ever had, and I wish my Husband could relate to me on the same level. I shouldn't have to do this, but sometimes I need to remind myself that I chose this life, and I will always choose this life. I wouldn't trade it for anything. But even knowing all that in my heart, doesn't change the fact that this is a difficult stage.
A few nights ago, after a long day with the boys, while laying in bed, this conversation took place:
Philip: "Honey, you are doing a great job with the kids."
Me (in a guilty voice): "I don't know. I do much better the first half of the day, because by the end of the day I get upset and completely worn down, and tend to yell a lot more."
Philip: "Just because you get worn down and upset, doesn't mean you aren't doing a good job!"
My eyes are swelling up just thinking about this converstation. Because I understand now. I understand that there is no way, barring him becoming a stay-at-home-dad, for him to ever "get" how challenging it is. But he doesn't need to. Because when he looks at me, he sees good Mother. He sees how hard I work. The fact that he walks through the door at 5pm, to find his hot mess of a Wife & all hell breaking loose -- and can still tell me I'm doing a good job? That means the world to me.
So next time we feel under appreciated and like maybe our spouses don't understand, let's remind ourselves that we are doing a good job.