18 November 2013

Heart of Gold

Ever since we got the official word that Bennett, in fact, has a developmental delay, I have been watching him a lot closer. I guess I'm just trying to be more observant than I have been in the past. Watching & studying how he thinks, what makes him tick, and how he learns. I want to help him as best as I can to progress and catch up with other kids his age, in terms of his speech & social interaction.

But while he struggles with his speech, he finds ways communicate his feelings & intentions so loudly. And especially recently, as I've been concentrating more on the little things, I am seeing him in a new light. I mean, I've always known what a sweet child he is, but man, I'm telling you -- Bennett has a heart of gold.

There we were, Easton & I, walking along side Bennett as he was was riding his bike up and down our street. Bennett got off of his bike for a minute and right then, a neighbor kid took a spill and fell off his bike. Without hesitation, Bennett ran over to him, touched him gently on the shoulder and said "You ok? Are you okay??" The concern in his voice was apparent. The neighbor boy, he's five years old, shoved Bennett's hand off of his shoulder and promptly told him to go away. Of course, I realize that he probably acted like that because he was embarrassed, I suppose that's a natural feeling to have when you're a little boy who's just fallen off your bike.

But the look on Bennett's face, it broke my heart. He couldn't understand why he was being treated that way. But he brushed if off, and tried to help the little boy pick up his bike off the ground, and again, was shunned and told to "stop it & go away." Bennett walked over to me, grabbed onto my leg tightly, and just watched as the neighbor boy rode off down the street. I stoked his head for a few seconds, bent down to his level and told him how proud I was of him for trying to help his neighbor, and that it is always the right thing to do. He seemed fine at that point, but for those 20 seconds that he was desperately trying to help the other little boy, I could see his genuine concern. Followed by how hurt he was that his efforts weren't being appreciated.

These kinds of scenarios happen constantly! He tries so hard to reach out, and to help. And unfortunately, most times, it's not taken the way I'd expect. Or the way he deserves. But I suppose that's a lot like our experiences in our adult lives. I don't know, I guess it's just amazing to me how young it all starts.... the lack of appreciation.



I mean, Bennett is Three & can dish out some serious sass of his own. And he certainly has his off days. But for the most part, he has the best of intentions, and he truly cares about people. And I'm not looking forward to the day that his outlook on life is jaded because of the negativity that surrounds him. How many times will be be told to "go away" whilst trying to do something kind for someone, before he just stops trying to help. I hope I can always find ways to encourage his positivity and affection. His tender little heart is one of the things I admire most about my little boy, I never want that to change.

16 comments:

Glori Changar said...

awwww so sweet!

Sarah said...

Bless his heart. That must have been so hard to just sit there and watch that happen!
I feel like the best way to teach our kids to just keep loving people is to do it ourselves. Somehow, I want to be able to teach my kids that disappointment, while it hurts, is just part of life. I don't ever want their fear of disappointment or failure to keep them from doing something.

Laura Railing said...

One great way- plug him into a way he *can* show care and be loved for it! Maybe going and visiting some people (even ones you don't know haha) at a nursing home. Making a picture for them or something. They (usually) love kids even with all their boisterous noise! Or, doing the operation Christmas child shoeboxes. Helping kids who need it. Basically doing anything to connect with others like that. If you find an outlet where they'll smile back you might just give him the moon. It is SO hard that we live in a day where help is sometimes looked so negatively on. Maybe B can just break that! I love how much you love his heart!

beckyj @ A Lazy Crazy Life said...

Awww, what a sweet boy, and it just breaks my heart that his kind act was not well received :( Makes me think that the 5yo doesn't have a little sibling, because I'm sure (hope, pray!) my boys would have been kinder, given the fact that they have a younger sister who they're used to dealing with. Because my heart would break just as much, being the mom on the other side and seeing my kid dismiss kindness like that :(

ADSchill said...

I see how sweet and loving B is every week and it's the reason I love that kid so much. I can feel his hurt and feel some myself at how he is often treated by other kids. I hope that he never changes. I would hate for him to stop tying to be kind to people. His concern for East and Coop are so evident and it's such a wonderful trait to have. I like the other bloggers idea about finding ways for him to help people who will appreciate him so it's not just constant dismissal. Charities, retirement homes, animal shelters...might be a good thing for him!

Kala Bernier said...

awww that story about the little boy on the bike broke my heart for Bennett :( Both your kids are so sweet and are going to grow up to be real gentlemen!

undomestic mama said...

What a sweet little boy. One of mine is much more sensitive than the other (at this point) I hope I can encourage them to be caring like Bennett. I think it's such an important quality to have.

Loyal RUN said...

Aww this touches my heart!! He is such a great lil man! It hits close to home because my 3 year old is the girl version of him in many ways!! We just have to keep encouraging them to be just the way they are, loving and gentle hearted.

Jodi said...

It is pretty amazing how young kids are when they really learn how tough life is. He was just trying to be nice and the other boy didn't care. But at least you know you have taught your son the right thing to do!

Laura @ The Everyday Joys said...

Oh my goodness, that photo is the sweetest.

That story BREAKS my heart. Breaks my heart. :(

Jess Craig said...

i want bennett on my side. what a sweetie.

Kiara Buechler said...

<3

Rj and Jessie said...

He is so sweet!

Gretchen said...

A big high five to you mama - your boys are sweet and caring I'm sure partly due to your parenting efforts :)

Fran said...

Aww I hope his compassion never dwindles and doesn't go away, we need more people like that in this world.

Elle Vee said...

That is a very sweet story, he sounds like he is going to grow into a very nice young man