Before I had kids, I never had an amazing career or anything, but I made plenty to be comfortable, and I always enjoyed working. Truth is, I actually never finished my college degree... which is something I will probably always regret. But when Philip and I were first married, he was right in the middle of finishing his degree & I was working full time to support us. And I guess I always kinda assumed that I would go back to school when he graduated. I always pictured myself in a professional setting, working my way up the chain, and being successful in whatever I did. Pipe dream? Maybe. But it's always how I envisioned myself. Of course, I always wanted to be a Mother, but I the thought never crossed my mind to "stay at home with the kids."
But then, POOF, I'm pregnant. My Husband is still in school & I am pregnant. Philip was graduating in December 2010, and Bennett was due a month later. Throughout my pregnancy with Bennett, Philip and I had countless discussions about what our options were, and what we were going to do to support ourselves and this new little baby we were expecting. Would Philip be able to find a job after graduation? Would I go back to work? Would I find childcare and go back to school?
I was asking so many questions, but never once did I ask "Will I stay home with my baby?" It was actually Philip that first suggested it. Of course, he would support me no matter what, but he's always expressed how incredibly important he thinks it is for a Mother to be at home with her children. In this day & age, honestly, Stay At Home Moms are few and far between. And understandably so. The cost of living is through the roof, so a lot of people can hardly afford to live, even with both parents working. And also, there are so many opportunities for women in the work force now, that it makes perfect sense for them to want to be successful and accomplished. That is after all, what I wanted as well.
But as my pregnancy progressed and we got closer & closer to the end, we did a lot of thinking & praying about what the next steps were going to be.
The answer to my prayers were so loud. And it was that I needed to be home with my kids, so that's what I did. It hasn't always been easy, though. We have struggled financially because of this decision. And there have been times that I've questioned my ability to Mother my kids 24/7, because I have been so frustrated with them. So frustrated in fact, that many times, I have sworn I was going to hire a nanny and go back to work. Obviously I said that in the heat of the moment, but you get what I mean. And to add to it, since starting my business, things have gotten even more hectic.
But I'll tell you something, with every little smile & giggle, with every hug & kiss... I'm reminded that I'm in the right place and I'm doing the right thing. And I don't take it for granted. I know that so many Mothers would do anything to stay at home with their kids, so I realize how blessed I am and I am so thankful.
This life as a Stay At Home Mom, it might not be what I intended, but it is what I'm meant to be doing. And on the hard days, I'm going to look back at this post and remember that.
I saw this video floating around Facebook, it it literally gave me chills and brought me to tears.
Every Mother should watch it.
What about you? Are you in the place you'd thought you would be growing up?