09 June 2014

A Change in Persective.

Like many woman, I really struggle with my body image since having kids. I mean, shoot, I carried a 8.13lb baby in my freaking stomach for crying out loud. Things stretched, shifted & sagged throughout both of my pregnancies, but really, it was after Easton that I noticed a bigger change. And not a good one.

Obviously, I've started to workout and I'm trying like heck to improve my diet. Granted, it's only a little bit at a time... but it's something at least.

But here's the thing. I'm at a point in my life where I'm torn between "Love the body God gave you" and "This is not good enough". I'm sure you know what I'm talking about. It's a constant battle, to be able to love yourself the way you are, and be confident. But also be working toward a "better you."

I'm starting to feel like even if I lost 15lbs and toned up... I would still be unhappy with myself.

What is it about women, that we have to pick ourselves apart so much?? And WHY do we compare so often. I always catch myself thinking things like "Why is she losing weight so easily?" "Why does she have so much more motivation than I do?" "I wish I was thin enough to be able to wear pants like that".... etc etc. It never stops, does it?

I think I'm just afraid to look at the real issue. I mean sure, I could stand to lose a little weight and tighten up some areas. But what I'm lacking, can't be fixed with a strict diet or a hectic work out schedule.

I've got to learn to love myself, and all of my many physical flaws and imperfections. My body has been through a lot in it's 30 years of life and it's done some crazy amazing things. I need to learn to be proud of what I can accomplish as a human being, and just embrace the way I've changed.

Am I going to continue to try and be healthy and in shape? Absolutely! Because truth is, I do enjoy working out and I do want to make improvements. But crap. I am done beating myself up over this superficial need to fit into a size 4 jeans again, or comparing myself to people that are clearly in a different situation than I am.

My goal from here on out are just to feel GOOD about myself. That's going to take some work physically, yes. But more than anything, it will take a change in perspective.


31 comments:

Becky Goerend said...

I struggle with the same thing. And I also ponder if I want to spend the precious hours after work at night with my kids or at the gym. Kids win.

Reveal Natural Health said...

You are definitely not alone in that struggle. I can promise you that once you focus on being healthier (baby steps are great for this) you will be happier with your body. And not just because your new attitude will make you feel better about your body, but because your body will actually change too as you make small changes to what you and your family eat.

Jess Beer said...

I think we all struggle with this, especially after having kids. I'm a firm believer that a little bit at a time is the best policy because it produces the most lasting changes...they just become normal over time. You have to do whatever it is that makes YOU feel good - it's not necessarily going to be a goal that makes sense to everyone else. I've also found that when others give me compliments on what I'm doing it feels good - but only if I'm feeling good about it myself. It's really hard. Body image is such a hard thing.

ashlyebrink said...

I agree with the comments above... you are not alone! I know I struggle with body image issues myself, especially after having a baby (almost 3 years ago!) Just keep your head up and keep doing what you're doing! We are all here to keep things positive and support each other!

LaShawn C said...

I LOVE this post! I think most, if not all, woment struggle with this. Even the ones that we are looking at and wondering, "Why is she losing weight so easily?" I do believe that I am my own worse enemy! I also believe that no amount of losing weight will make one feel any better about themselves if they started out with intentions on fitting into some kind of preset mold. Once that weight comes off, it would just be something else needing changing. ;-) Thanks so much for posting this!

Ashley Z. said...

I too struggle with weight. It's so hard!

Crystal said...

This is so true for me as well. Even when I was 15 pounds lighter I still felt "fat" and was unhappy with myself. Two kids, and 15 pounds, later I feel the same way.

Rebekah Clarke said...

You are gorgeous! I totally know what you mean and I struggle with it every day too, and even when I was in shape I still thought I was fat. I have managed to lose 20lbs and have 50 more to go. I have good weeks where I feel on top of the world and weeks where I still don't even want to look at myself in the mirror.

We are our worst critic, just know you aren't alone in feeling that way! Thank you for this post ♥

Carly said...

Seriously, I could have written this post! 6 months after baby, I have decided I just need to aim for being strong and confident!

Life with Amberly said...

Body image is such a hard perspective to switch! I always think I'm feeling good about mine and then something happens and it sets me back :P

Lindsay N. said...

I could have written this myself..... Well put!

celery and cupcakes said...

I've struggled with my body image in the past and although I'm in a much better place now I still have crappy days like most girls. It's not easy at all, but keep up your hard work. :-)

Taneja's Bride said...

I'm in the same boat but you, my dear, look FANTASTIC! <3

Alicia Snow said...

Body image will always be a constant struggle, but just remember how amazing it is that your body was able to bring babies into the world. That is incredible and your body has battle scars to prove how tough you are!

Starr Joy said...

Beauty and happiness come from within not from without! We all have our blah days but hang in there lady! You'll get to where you want to me. I for one think you're beautiful! :)

StarrJoy16.blogspot.com

Discovery Street said...

I think there is something about getting a little older and just building a confidence that comes with age about who we are. I had major insecurities when I was younger--it really wasn't until I had a baby and put on weight that I realized how amazing my body was!

Miranda Myrabev said...

You are beautiful and well done you for working to a better you. I understand the body image issues and know you are not alone x

ADSchill said...

Bravo! We all need to work on perspective. I am about where you are. Working on improving myself but bring okay that I am not a size 8 nor will I be again. That's okay with me. We are so hard on ourselves.

gm said...

clearly, you aren't alone :)

my whole life has been up and down on the body image roller coaster. i spent years imprisoned by it and put my body through a lot of really unhealthy things trying to control my weight. i had 3 kids in 3.5 yrs and i feel like God used each pregnancy to free me from it a little bit more. i'm still working on it, i have been 15 lbs lighter and more miserable about it all. so, you are right-it's about perspective. at some point, you have to just choose to be content and grateful for what you are now. i find that when i'm working out regularly,i already feel so much better and confident about myself that it's not really a struggle to choose that contentment.

jen said...

and i realized i was logged in as my husband with that previous post-from "gm". ha, sorry!

Caity O'Shaughnessy said...

Well I think you look GREAT! Look at your little baby and love that your body created that beautiful lil thing!

Jamie said...

Totally!! Read my mind. After 3 babies, my body is very different than it was and while OF COURSE I should eat better and exercise I know there's no going back to where I was. I'm constantly wishing I had better skin tone, less stretch marks etc... things that I really have little control over. I need to just appreciate my body for what it is. Great reminder!

Sarah [NurseLovesFarmer.com] said...

It's more of a mental thing than a physical thing. I keep thinking I need to grow my hair and color it blonde again because I post old pictures and that's the first thing people say. BUT I have to be happy with myself and it doesn't matter what others thing.

Kiara Buechler said...

I love your attitude on this. Yes, being physically fit is so important, for your health and longevity of life, but there is a balance and I think you've struck that.

Brenda D Priddy said...

Good for you! Being healthy should always be the goal before everything else, but it's hard not to fall into beauty traps!

MomMaven said...

This is something I think all women struggle with. Choose health and family over anything else.

jaime said...

I was just talking to my doctor about THIS yesterday. I ran a half marathon this past Saturday. I've had one child. WHY doesn't my body want to bounce back to it's original state 3.5 years ago? She was upset that other doctors told me I was overweight (when, yes, the numbers are not lying, but I'm also fit.) Sigh.

Crystal Martin - Cinnamon Hollow said...

You are so not alone in this. I'm also at the point where I want to get healthy and fit for my kids but still be able to be "in the moment" with them and not take away any time from them to really focus on myself. It's a battle to get the timing of it all just right.

Shanna Ramos said...

You are not alone! I too struggle day in day out with my body image and confidence. I'm motivated one day, writing new healthy recipes, working out, trying a new diet and the next, in just stressed, feeling low and eating a dozen donuts... You're absolutely right about loving yourself. And finding happiness to be comfortable in your own skin is very hard these days with all the "you have to be a certain size to look good"... Complete bull**** in my opinion!!

Stylebyshayx.blogspot.co.uk

Julie S. said...

great post! I too, have the same struggles, and wish I was about 30 pounds lighter. BUT it is not realistic, and I am alll about realistic.

Amanda Jillian B said...

That is an excellent goal, feeling good about yourself is all that should matter.