23 July 2014

Finding the place where we belong.

Every time I visit my Husband's hometown, I leave wondering what it would be like to live there. Or somewhere near there. It's actually pretty predictable, I always come home feeling like I want to move. Just ask my friends and family.


The morning we left, as we were packing the car and getting the kids ready, Bennett realized what was going on and that we were leaving. He had a break down. He started crying and telling us that he didn't want to go home. It was absolutely heart-breaking to watch. He grew so close to not only his family there, but the way of life. It's so hard to tear him away, so many tears.

Bennett, especially, would really thrive living somewhere smaller and more slow-paced. He loves nothing more than to be able to roam free and explore -- wide open spaces suit him well. My Husband and I both agreed that seeing him there, in a completely different environment, it's like he was a totally different kid. More aware, more relaxed... happier. Whereas, I feel like the faster pace lifestyle of the Seattle area can be too overwhelming for him (and me, if I'm being totally honest). Easton? Well he would be fine anywhere I think, he's pretty chill.



While I think that you can find joy and be content anywhere (because home is where the heart is, or should I say "home is where my family is"), I truly believe that where you live has a HUGE impact on your every day life and perspective. There's a lot, like a lot of outside influence that we don't usually take into account when we choose where we live. And it's important for me to remember what kind of influence I want the culture/community to have on my kids.

Don't get me wrong, I appreciate & respect variety and diversity. It's just that if I look down to the core of who I am, and what I envision for our family, it doesn't really jive well with Seattle (or surrounding areas). We live a conservative lifestyle, and our values and beliefs are much different than most that live in the Pacific Northwest. Could we be happy here forever? Yes. But it's hard to ignore that we just might be happier and more fulfilled somewhere with a more like-minded community. There would also be the benefit of our kids being close to my Husbands side of the family. I feel SO strongly about them having a close relationship with them. But then again, could I ever leave my friends and family here?  


 I feel like I am constantly battling with myself about what would be best for our family. I mean, obviously, it's not just my decision. My Husband sort of has a say in things, too. And I know that right now, he's happy in his career. He's ambitious and always needs to be able to "climb the ladder" so to speak, so I feel like he would be unhappy somewhere with so little demand for his line of work.

So that's kind of a big deal. And one of the major reasons why moving to Idaho hasn't been a realistic option for us.


I don't know, I'm just sort of thinking out loud. And I'm feeling kind of moody, so who knows how long these feelings will last.

What about you??? Do you live in the city? country? suburbs? Where do you feel you "fit in" the most? And are you happy where you live?


36 comments:

The Girl who Loved to Write said...

What precious pictures!

Jessie said...

I'm a San Diego girl who has found herself living in Idaho. Though I do miss the beach and sunshine, I am very content to be where I am and raising my two little boys in these wide open spaces. It's a special place too! I totally understand all your thoughts. Wishing you all the best!

Jess Beer said...

Ugh. The DC area is so hard to live in, and I struggle with this a lot. While we're both close to family (once Chris' parents return for good in January), sometimes I wish it wasn't so crazy here. We don't see ourselves going anywhere just yet because of the job market, but I can see us retiring somewhere much less fast-paced (we're thinking my college town!)

Ariel @ Dreams To Do said...

Ugh, I totally feel where you're coming from. I'm constantly questioning where we are and wondering if we shouldn't just pack up our fam and start a new adventure somewhere.

Mandey Ejiasi said...

I wish moving to a place closer to our family could be an option for us, but there aren't any jobs in my husband's line of work (web design) in Iowa, especially that would challenge and push him. He supports our family so his job is pretty crucial. He could always work from home from just about anywhere, but he'd be spending a lot of time traveling for whatever design firm or clients he would be working for. And he has traveled so much in the past, it wears him out very quickly.

We're not crazy about San Francisco area because it's so dang expensive and it's just not where we feel like we'll be forever (we fell in love with Portland fast and hard) but he has a pretty sweet job and leaving it would be a huge change. I get where you're coming from, with regards to doing what is practical vs. what feels right.

Nikki said...

I have a suggestion...visit them a few times in the winter ;) I too can survive anywhere, and as season pass in North Dakota I find myself enjoying the different smells and seasons (except for fertilizer week). The winters are really rough and for that reason I will not stay, but I don't want to go back to the rain. I miss my family but that rain is really depressing. Take a page from Design Mom and live someplace else for a year or two. Rent out your house in Washington and give Idaho a try, maybe Phillip can work from home too. Time flies, you don't have to settle down just yet...

Britt Hanson said...

We've lived in 3 cities since we've been married (Provo, UT, Pocatello, ID, and now Post Falls, ID (in between Spokane, WA and Coeur d'Alene, ID) ). We've fallen in love with Idaho since moving here (we are both from Utah) and I doubt we'll ever move back. We like that Idaho is a little slower paced, but we've also enjoyed living in northern Idhao because it's beautiful and between CDA and Spokane we can get the "big(ger) city feel" when we want. We don't love being so far away from family (we liked Poky because it was far enough away to be independent but close enough to make a weekend trip if we wanted) but it has really been great for us to be on our own and depend on each other. We may end up back in Poky, but who knows?! We'll probably be up here for at least another 4 years. When did we grow up and have to make decisions that involve little people??! :)

Cailin Koy said...

It was hard for me to admit, but I'm definitely a suburban girl. I need a yard, access to the ground floor, and nearby conveniences like Starbucks. It's not poetic, but it's the truth.

Esther Ju*Lee said...

we've moved quite a bit these past years... we lived in LA for a year.. and we're trying out Las Vegas. I think through it all.. i realized i just have to have good people around me. Even though the food options and weather was perfect in LA.. we just didn't fit in with the culture there. Ultimately I see myself settling down back in Atlanta bc our family and closer friends are there.. i think that's where home is for me.

Sarah @ Sarah Cooks the Books said...

I grew up in North Carolina and this past January, made the move to Southern California. I can't believe the difference, and I can't believe I've ever lived anywhere else!

Lauren said...

I live in the suburbs of San Francisco. I fit in a lot in the 'burbs but I also feel comfortable in the city. Not that I want to live in the city again, but it made me appreciate all the free parking in neighborhood!

Taneja's Bride said...

Great photos - I always feel the same when visiting either one of our families. :D

Amby Felix said...

You have to follow your heart! I come from a small town and was suffocating. As soon as I moved to a big city I felt at home, and to be honest, I'm ready to move to a bigger one. That is just me! Wishing you all the best!

Rachel Lynn said...

This is sooo how we feel right now. Unfortunately, being in the military we don't have as much choice. We've been trying to figure out the best way to get closer to family w/out losing the stability of my hubby's job. Good luck with whatever your family decides and wherever they end up!

Alyson McMahon said...

I can relate 100% to this. Matt & I wanted to move out of CA for years and years. We did endless amounts of research on different cities & states before finally settling on Wisconsin and the town we live in specifically. Moving far away from family wasn't an easy decision for us, but it had to come down to what was best for the kids and Matt & I- and that was moving. We love, love, love where we live now and haven't regretted moving once. We miss family, but they visit and we visit them so it works out. I say, if you know you'll be happy there, then do it, move! You can always move again if you have to. Good luck!

Brooklyn Jolley said...

Beautiful pics. And I love your blog design!

Brooke @ Youre in Brookelynn said...

I totally know what you mean! I'm stuck right now since I'm going to college, but I am constantly thinking about if I want to move after I graduate. I'm hoping it will be a little more clear to me when I finally get to that point (in a year or two!)

Carly said...

Aww, Bennett's break down would have crushed me too! I think we all want to live somewhere else other than we do. It's a constant struggle.

Neely said...

Im a city girl and could not live anywhere else. But I do love the country from time to time

Hima Rajana said...

I personally love the fast pace of city life, but I see how that wouldn't work for some! I'm not sure if I would want to raise kids in the middle of the city. Love your beautiful pictures!

xo, Hima
Hima Hearts

Iris said...

Lovely post, and I definietly feel the same why quite often. I live in Seattle too, in the suburbs. I always feel like I would do better either in a smaller town, or the busiest city, just not in between. :) Thanks for the thought-provoking post. :)

Gretchen Bossio said...

We're back in my hometown right now, where I want to be. But my husband's career could move us someday and I'm sad about that :/

Kailei Pew said...

I can absolutely relate to this! My husband is in law school right now, and while it is the right place for us at this stage of life, it isn't "home." But for now, we are doing what we feel is right where we feel it is right while still seeking a sense of belonging. Good luck!

Rebekah Clarke said...

Beautiful as always. I grew up in a really small town, living a lot of it on a hobby farm and now I live in the suburbs of a big city. Both have their pros, and my husband and I talk regularly about where we want to raise our family. It'd be hard for him to move away from his family (mine are 1200 km away), but I'm used to moving and would almost welcome the change. Time will tell I guess, as long as I have the 3 of them I'm home.

Jessica Doll @ Team Wiking said...

Beautiful photos. :)

Ashley Griffith said...

We just moved from the city in March to a small, unincorporated town about 1.5 hours away. It was a huge adjustment for us - not having things like Walmart, or big grocery stores, or even a clothing store of any kind - but it was totally worth it. The slow pace, nature, quiet nights - all of it make living here feel like the right move for us. And even more so, the right place for us to raise a family eventually.

Betsy said...

i technically live in the suburbs of a small city but my family owns five acres of woods basically....so it feels kinda secluded but it is minutes away from everything!

Deidre Miller said...

I totally get this. We are in Arizona and trying out baseball but this isn't home and I just dont feel like I fit in.

Karissa Ancell said...

I've lived most of my life in a pretty small town and have always wanted to live somewhere a little busier, maybe someday.

Lauren @ Lot Forty Eight said...

i love this post! i don't feel at home in my hometown. it is too small, and i am much more comfortable and happy in big cities. it also can't be ugly. i need to be surrounded by beauty. so the desert, not for me. also i HATE the heat. so i would never ever live in arizona or any small town. i need skyscrapers, i need culture, i need to meet different kinds of people.

Tawny said...

So fun! Your pictures are stunning.

Cam said...

I love the idea of just starting a new adventure. Up until recently, I was trying to convince my husband to move to Paris.

Beautiful pictures, by the way!

Jordan Wise said...

Love your photographs! I know all about moving! You make your own home though, just remember that when it gets scary! xo

Sarah Shermann said...

Love your photos, totally get what you mean about having a totally different child once they're out the city, my little ones the same with wide open spaces, I don't think the city suits him :-)

Laura Elizabeth said...

I grew up in the suburbs and now go to college in a little Texas town. I've always found a calling to want to be right on the edge of the city, where I'm just into the country, but close enough to the city when I need the busy lifestyle.

Tara said...

I just thought I would let you know, I LOVE reading your blog. :) You are definitely one of my favorite bloggers. :)