No matter what I do or what others tell me, I don't ever feel like I totally accept myself. Until recently I feel like I took some big steps forward.
As my 4 y/o son and I were sitting on the couch together, he softly started stroking my arm with his hand. A couple of minutes later, he starts pointing out the freckles that I despise. Every time I look at them, I wish them away.
But Bennett? He said to me:
"Mom, what are those?"
"Those are my freckles, honey"
At this point, I'll admit, I expected him to tell me that my freckles were silly. That's his response for a lot of things. But instead...
"Mom, your freckles are pretty! And your hair is pretty!"
I gave him the biggest hug and thanked him for his kind words. I sat there for a minute and just thought about what he said. He's at an age, where he has never once worried about his appearance, or picked himself apart. He doesn't care what he looks like, or what I look like, for that matter. He looked at me, at a "flaw" that I've always hated, and told me it was pretty. He doesn't see the negative things that I see. His outlook is pure, and non-judgemental. Honestly, why can't I be more like that??
I realized something in this small experience. And it's that it's never too early to start talking about acceptance. Granted, he's a boy and he probably won't go through the confidence issues to the extent that a girl would. But he needs to learn from my example, that we all our perfect in our own way. Our "flaws" make us unique and different. I don't ever want my kids to be critical of themselves, because they see me doing it. And I definitely don't want them to ever judge anyone else by their appearance, either.
I don't know. I think since I have boys, I just never thought too much about how I act in regards to my appearance. But, I think it's time to start changing my frame of mind a little more... and realize that yes, even my freckles are pretty.