So here goes an honest post, about the way some things have been around here lately.
I have been so caught up with mothering, work, and redecorating my house, and fitness, and my social life, and vacations, and, and, and.... you get the point. That I haven't talked much about the current struggles.
What am I struggling with right now? A LOT. Some of which are so personal that I don't feel comfortable or inclined to talk about them here. But others? Are the simple things. Like being a Mom. Well, there is nothing simple about being a Mother, so that wasn't a good way to put it.
My kids, they are amazing and I love them with every ounce of my heart & soul, but they are challenging me right now. I feel like we had a good, solid 4-5 months of just..... bliss. Where the boys were well-behaved and were getting along pretty well. I was thinking "Man, life is EASY right now, how lucky am I?" But, that ended abruptly a few months ago. Bennett, he's still struggling developmentally, and I feel like it's all coming to a head. Communication and comprehension is a major obstacle for us right now, and it's just.... it's very hard. I will get more into that in another post, because there is a lot to say about that.
And Easton?? He has been pretty much an angel ever since he was born. He was the easiest baby in the world, and just a dream throughout his One's and most of his Two's. But, he's almost Three, if that tells you anything about where this post his heading.
I've just been overwhelmed in the Motherhood department I guess. I feel like both of my kids have hit a wall with their ability to listen, follow any sort of direction, or get along -- like at all. Obviously, they are (almost) 3 and 5 Years Old, so I don't expect a ton as far as behavior. But I do know when things are extra tough, and now is one of those times. My sanity has been hanging on by a thread recently. I've been clinging to all of the aforementioned things (fitness, friends, vacations, decorating... etc), to keep myself from going absolutely crazy. I realize that this is just a season, and it too shall pass. But when you're in it, and you're trying to navigate through it, it's ridiculously exhausting. Plus, I've reached one of those points in parenting where I'm totally at a loss at how to discipline my children. They are both so different, and require almost totally opposite parenting styles. It's super confusing and hard to manage. I'll admit that especially the past few weeks, I've been yelling a lot more than I care to admit. Bleh.
Clearly, I was just in the mood to vent and be heard. So, I thank you for that. If any of you are still reading to this point. I know that in social media, it can come across that things are always peachy and perfect. But dude, they are not. They things legitimately hard right now and man, it feels good to get that all off my chest.