13 August 2015

I Cannot Do It All, And I Don't Want To

I've realized something very simple, but very important recently.

I can not do it all.

Okay wait, let me sort of rephrase that, because I think I've always known I can't do it all. But the most significant thing, is realizing that not only am I incapable of doing everything and pleasing everyone all the time -- I don't want to. I do not want to.  I feel selfish saying that out loud. But it's the truth.

Just think about it for a minute. How often to do we put pressure on ourselves to multi-task and be oh-so-productive all of the time. And in fact, we feel guilty when we don't get to cross off everything on our to-do lists, or help everyone who needs help with something. It's enough to make us feel like big fat failures, if you ask me.

I find myself trying to be a people pleaser sometimes. And not just with other people, with myself, too. I don't ever want to let myself down... if that makes sense. It can get to be overwhelming, though, because I will start to feel pulled into a million different directions. But I have literally just started accepting that I can't do everything. I can't be there for everyone, or make everyone happy. I feel like, now, I know my limits and only take on what I can truly handle. If not, my happiness & my families happiness suffers a lot. So in recent months, I have learned to say "no." Which I think is really really important. It's not always easy, but it's necessary.

And on top of that, there is never going to be enough time in the day, and I know that. I don't want to spend every waking hour trying to be productive, staying clean and organized, and driving myself batty with the ever growing list of crap to do. It just isn't realistic. Obviously, I think there is a balance to be found. But mostly, I find that I'm missing out on so much by trying to do it all. I'm slowly learning to live for me. To do with makes me happy and to follow my heart.

I've learned to prioritize better. I put in the effort where it needs to be at the time, and just try and let everything else go for the moment. I really have no other choice, because when I start to consider all of the things or people I've been neglecting -- that's when the guilt pours in. And that just isn't fair. With the exception of our family (and sometimes not even them)... it's not okay for us to put everything and everyone before ourselves. WE need to be healthy and happy, before we can be any good to anyone else.

I really really feel like instead of letting the pressure and the guilt drive us nuts, we just need to say "I can't, and I won't take that on right now", whatever that might be.

And because I can't hit "publish" on a post without a photo. Here is one from a much needed Mom's Night Out I had with some friends a few nights ago! :-)


The Girl who Loved to Write said...

So good!

Tania T said...

So missed to read your posts!This is real life!

April Lynn | Our Little Loves said...

you are SO right. But gosh it's so so hard to let it go, isn't it?! Darn Type A personalities.

ADSchill said...

Oh the pressure. I have also gotten much better at just taking what I can handle AND what I want to handle. I prefer to live in a manner that allows for down time and truely good relationships. It's important to live in balance, like you said.